Ramblings of a Constipated Mind

Okay, time to finish talking about the Spider-Man 2 "experience". By that I mean what occurred at the screening. Though I forgot to mention before that there is some very cool Christ-imagery (you'll have to be blind not to notice it), but I can't really see much point for it. Then again, Jesus is the coolest super hero ever.

Moving on...

Everything was fine before the movie started, until my aunt leaned over and whispered to me that she thought the two girls behind us were making out. Now, I am not homophobic (unless "homophobia" means "considering homosexuality a sin"), and that should be established before I say anything more. Since homosexuals are so rarely encountered (scratch that, change it to "almost never") in Latin America, I couldn't help but be interested. I was seated at such an angle so I could safely sneak glances at them before the movie started, but I didn't catch them doing anything more than sitting next to each other. However, after the movie, they walked out holding hands and holding onto each other in a very "more than friends" way. I know this is the US, and girls can do things like hold hands and not be considered homosexual, but this was definitely more than that. There were two guys with them, but I'm not sure what they were there for. Were they trying to disguise themselves as straight couples, or were the guys there merely to watch?

The other interesting part of the movie was during Spidey's final confrontation with Doc Ock. They're fighting, and Mary Jane decides to help out. So she picks up this wooden board, raises it above her head, and--

The screen goes blank.

This was quite possibly the best part of the movie, though, since the entire audience immediately reacted with such exclamations as, "Hey!", "Aaaawwww!", "What's going on?", "I want my f****** money back!" My brother leaned over and said something to the effect of, "I guess that's it until Spider-Man 3." It was hilarious. 30 seconds to a minute and a half later, it was back on. The battle was over, and I still have no idea what Mary Jane did or how Doc Ock ended up on the ground. The lights were left on for the remainder of the show.

My guesses as to what could have happened during that critical moment in the film:

1) Mary Jane hits Doc Ock (or gets swatted away), and this gives Spider-Man time to beat him up and throw him to the ground.

2) The three characters break out into a song-and-dance version of the Spider-Man theme song, until Doc Ock trips and falls, ending the fun.

3) Kirsten Dunst just holds up that board and poses with it so she can earn her salary. Spidey and Doc Ock engage in a staring contest, and Doc Ock loses.

4) Spider-Man does stand-up comedy, and Doc Ock nearly laughs himself to death.

I'm having trouble deciding which is the most likely.

Now I am going to talk about my thoughts for the upcoming sequel. If you have not seen Spider-Man 2, stop reading, since there will be references to major plot spoilers.

Ehm.

What I Definitely DO Want To See in Spider-Man 3:

Mary Jane's husband saying something to the effect of, "Crap! She left me at the alter for Spider-Man! I am going to kill him!" Then he gets exposed to radioactive space dust and mutates into the film's second villain. Venom would be awesome! Though I guess a guy named Eddie Brock has to fill that post.

Harry Osbourne gives the Green Goblin costume a much-needed makeover. Pleeeeeeeeeease!

What I Definitely DO NOT Want To See in Spider-Man 3:

A shot of Mary Jane exclaiming, "Bye, honey!" as Spidey swings out the window, off for another night of stopping crime.

The same Green Goblin costume as before. At least change that stupid mask.

Events similar to the Aunt-May-dangling-from-the-building parts of Spider-Man 2. That's not good filmmaking, it's audience manipulation.

A Spider-Man/Mary Jane sex scene with all kinds of twisted spider stuff. Ew.

What WOULD BE COOL To See in Spider-Man 3 But Might Possibly Have Absolutely Nothing To Do With That Movie:

Aunt May kicking the crud out of the Green Goblin.

Spider-Man actually not being able to save an innocent bystander. More guilt = more internal conflict = potential for great development = angry Spidey on a rampage of destruction. Oh yeah!

Spider-Man fights evil clones of himself or Green Goblin which turns into a blantant Matrix rip-off (but a cool one).

Doc Ock's not really dead. He joins Green Goblin and a new guy for some awesome 3 vs. 1 fight scenes.

Spider-Man is played by Jake Gyllenhaal, or however you spell that (Donnie Darko). Frank the Bunny comes up and torments Harry. There's some really confusing time travel stuff, Mary Jane dies, and Harry goes back in time to fix things and make it so his dad doesn't die.

The spoilers are over now, people.

On to other things. Last night I went to the meeting at Ardmore and found out what I'll be doing in Toronto. Here's the deal. I'm working as part of the Vacation Bible School group (which unfortunately means I can't count it as CAS credit). We'll be doing activities with a group of kids, the oldest of which are fifth graders. The theme is Hawaii, and there will be appropriate decorations (including a volcano), and I have some new Hawaii-themed shirts and sandals to wear. Part of my job will include dressing up in costumes (a shepherd and a prison guard). Plus, I have to lead the activities 2 days. As in, follow the manual, teach the lesson, say what I'm supposed to say. That's going to take a lot of memorization. I have 8 days to practice being extroverted, otherwise these kids are going to be really bored.

That's all I feel like mentioning about that. Tomorrow I go to Gardner-Webb. Saturday I'm off to the mountains and camping in Boone. My account will also finally have money in it, so I can buy stuff (movies, portable DVD player, movies, video games, movies, etc.).

It's preaching time again. It's been a while since I went off on a post-modern/theological/religious/whatever-you'd-call-it rant, but here goes.

Firstly: I finished reading How Movies Saved My Soul again - fascinating look at movies, and it has some very good things to say about the state of the church today. One of my favorite lines, taken from the chapter on brokenness (paraphrased): "Jesus is not Prozac." Amen to that. Too often do people assume that becoming a Christian (which they also mistakenly think only involves saying a prayer mentally and ignoring the love-your-neighbor-as-yourself-clothe-the-naked-feed-the-poor-and-walk-like-a-follower-of-Christ part. And yes, I'll admit to sometimes falling into that trap) means that all their problems will be solved and they will be happy for the rest of eternity.

WRONG!

Christians get depressed too, and anyone who says they don't is probably lying. The major difference is that strong Christians are more able to deal with their problems. They've got Christ on their side. If the Lord is for us, who can stand against us? Brokenness is a major part of being human. It helps us stop taking life for granted and develop character. It is one of the keys to spiritual growth. If life is always happy and care-free, how can we ever grow? On a side note, why is it we only draw close to God when times are tough and not when they're good? This needs to stop. Also, as Gareth Higgins pointed out in the previously mentioned book, if anything our lives should be even harder as Christians. We're called to "take up the cross", and I'm pretty certain that doesn't mean a walk in the park. We need to wake up, and realize that being sad is not a sin but actually a vital part of being a Christian and indeed, being human.

I can't remember much about the movie, but I'm pretty sure Shadowlands conveys this point pretty well. Watch it.

Secondly: time to talk about profanity. I've been meaning to put down my thoughts on this for a while, but never felt the moment was right. What is going to follow is going to be an outpour of all my thoughts on the matter. I apologize if this is poorly structured, or doesn't make sense. Also, be warned that this might offend people. If I feel the need to type a swear word while typing this, I'm not going to use the dash marks or asterisks that I used previously in this post (that came before this warning). The full word will be typed, and if you don't like it, tough. You all knew what I meant anyway.

I'll begin with a quote from Tony Campolo. I don't know a lot about this guy or his views, but this is one statement he uses a lot that I agree with:

"You want to know about what is profane? I will tell you. Right now there are 500,000 children dying of starvation in Africa each and every day and you don't give a DAMN/SHIT/FUCK about it! And the most profane thing I can think of is that right now you are more concerned with the fact that I said a cuss word than the fact that I just told you about the death of 500,000 innocent children."

Christians need to stop freaking out so much about swear words. To put it simply: This is the way people, especially non-Christians, talk nowadays. You don't have to agree with it, but deal with it. Regarding profanity in film or other forms of pop culture: because of my former statement, it is needed most of the time. These words have been integrated into part of the English language, and are now more commonly used than their "less offensive" substitutes. Most of the people using these words are not Christians, so what do you expect? The one thing I do have a problem with is when films use more than is realistically called for (though admittedly I'm not sure how much is "realistic" these days). In movies such as Good Will Hunting, where the characters are non-Christian, average every-day people (perhaps un-educated as well), don't be surprised to hear such a plethora of profanity. It is necessary for the script, and I don't think it diminishes the quality of the movie in any way. I'll refrain from commenting on Pulp Fiction, since I haven't seen it, but it's possible that its 260 f-words are warranted as well.

Focus on what's more important. To get upset over mere words when there are bigger things at hand is hypocritical. As Marlon Brando stated in Apocalypse Now: "They train our young men to drop fire on children, but they won't let them write 'fuck' on their bombs because they say it's obscene."

Also, I'm wondering what the basis is for Christians not to use these words. What is the standard for a word to become "profane"? I don't recall any verse in the Bible that says "Thou shalt not say 'fuck'/'ass'/'shit'/'bitch', etc." There is a verse that mentions we should not let "foul language" emerge from our mouth. But what is the definition of "foul language"? In my mind, "foul language" could be referring to any word or phrase that degrades God or another human being. But I don't see Christians getting upset when people are called "idiots". By this definition, words used as exclamations such as "Damn! Shit! Fuck!" are not foul. How come some words are seen as stronger than others? There's a double standard going on here...

My basic point is that we should stop placing so much emphasis on it. Christians refuse to go to movies that have "too much" profanity in them, but there's less debate over films that portray liars and thieves. If you consider some words a sin, why are some sins acceptable viewing material and others are not? The world is sinful. Things will be done, seen, and said that you don't like and disagree with. Accept it. Don't ignore it to the point that you become de-sensitized to it (Paul calls for us all to keep our minds and hearts "pure of Spirit"), but realize that sin exists, and things as simple as mere words should not receive more attention as actually helping the people who say them. The only phrases I personally consider to actually be "profane" are "God-damn" and other words that violate the third commandment (why does "fuck" receive so much attention, anyway?). And honestly, I would be tempted to use swear words myself since I can't see what's so sinful about them, except for:

1) I was raised not to say them, so it seems unnatural for me to say them.
2) The Bible says we shouldn't do anything that might "offend" other people or cause them to sin. Since I'm still slightly undecided on what words are "sinful" and don't want to offend people, it's better just not to say them.

And so ends my rant. Those of you who chose not to read it due to the swear words (I will refrain from saying what I think of that) are now free to continue reading.

Though there isn't much to read. Time for me to leave. If you agree or disagree, leave a comment (that leaves no excuse for you not to).

On another note: My last post received a comment by someone named Isabel. Isabel, I don't know if you are:

1) Someone I met but can't remember.
2) A friend disguising themselves as a stranger.
3) An actual stranger who managed to find this blog.

If you are reading this and fit criteria #3, I'd be interested in knowing that, since it means my blog is (possibly) being read by a wider audience.

That goes to the rest of you people I don't know.

Whoa, that's a long post.