Ramblings of a Constipated Mind

Last week was crazy - particularly the first half. This is partly due to my own procrastination and ability to get easily distracted, and also due to the fact that I've just had an insane amount of work to do. I had two articles printing on Thursday in which I had to call and interview some filmmakers and actors. I was also going to be writing a review of Ghost Rider, but I just didn't have time, so I handed it off my friend/neighbor and fellow Technician scribe Morgan McCormick. My two-word review: It sucks.

Most of Sunday night was spent hammering out the first ten pages of what's going to eventually become my first feature-length screenplay. Given the nature of my script, this was extremely hard to do, and the final result was hit-and-miss. I've spoken at length with my professor about what I want to write, and we've both come to realize what my main problem is going to be. Everyone in the class is going to have one major problem they need to solve before their script can really start to develop. Mine is structure, and how to establish everything that needs to be established in the beginning for the film to make sense. The beginning is always probably the most important part of a script (which is why we're going to spend around 3 weeks going over everyone's first ten pages with a fine-toothed comb), but I'm in an even more difficult situation given my choice of genre and subject matter.

My teacher had suggested I give him an outline by our next class, but I wasn't anywhere close to figuring out how the plot was going to progress until Monday afternoon. I was sitting in my Weather and Climate class, bored out of my mind, and I decided to pull out my notebook and just start jotting down ideas for characterization and plot events. I ended up getting incredibly inspired and turning out a loose outline of the entire film. I spent the last part of Monday night typing it all up and working out the details.

After meeting with him for around 45 minutes on Tuesday, I think I've finally come up with a potential way to solve my structuring issues. Tomorrow is "Pitch Night" where we pitch our screenplay ideas to our classmates and get feedback, so hopefully it will go over well and come to fruition.

I figure it's about time I reveal what the subject of my screenplay is going to be. Basically, it's a zombmock. A zombie mockumentary slash phodocumentary (phony documentary). That's really all I can say so far about it, since I'm still working out all the details of context and tone. It was partially inspired by catching bits and pieces of Incident at Loch Ness television last year and watching how it melded fiction with a medium of fact. The idea for a zombie mockumentary has been floating around in my head for a while, and now I'm going to be putting pen to paper and making it concrete. Given the fact that it mixes genres and mockumentaries aren't usually about fictional phenomena (since they're supposed to mimic documentaries) it's going to be tough to write, but I think it's an idea that has potential to be a really unique, funny product. My Netflix queue is filled with zombie films and mockumentaries, in the hopes that they might provide inspiration for scenes.

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My article about Billy Bob Thornton and the Polish Brothers can be found here. The headline they picked for the story is awful.

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Went to see The Beach Party at the Threshold of Hell. It was a pretty decent movie, for what it was (an extremely low-budget film). It had some really interesting mythology and I'm hoping to see the story continue, whether it be in the form of sequels or a television series that the director is preparing to pitch. Afterwards, I hung out with the group for a while. Nice guys. There's a very slim possibility I'll be working with one of them in April. We'll see.

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The Oscars were last night. The ceremony was nothing special, as usual. The Academy really needs to learn how to edit. Four and a half hours is way too long, particularly when there's no reason it couldn't be two and a half hours max. Get rid of the pointless montages and the stupid songs, and you've probably already cut out an hour right there. Also: Ellen DeGeneres wasn't that great as a host, as expected. She did a so-so job, but her style of humor definitely doesn't compare to that of someone like Steve Martin. Her jokes are "cute." They're the kind of jokes that maybe make you chuckle or smile (if that), but rarely get a full-fledged laugh.

The biggest surprises for me were Best Cinematography, Best Song, and Best Animated Film. The Academy clearly are a bunch of Al Gore lovers, and it affects their decisions. The only reason they got Al Gore to show up was probably by saying, "Look, if you make an appearance and give a speech about global warming that really has no point in the context of an awards show, we'll give your movie Best Documentary AND Best Song." Dreamgirls got owned. And what's up with Happy Feet getting Best Animated Film? From what I heard, that movie didn't even deserve to be nominated, let alone beat out Pixar for the win!

Cinematography definitely should have gone to Children of Men. The only reason they gave it to Pan was to make up for the fact that they weren't going to give it Best Foreign Film. That's how the Academy works. George Clooney said it perfectly last year when in his acceptance speech for Best Supporting Actor he said something to the effect of, "Well I guess this means I'm not getting Best Director." Just like Brokeback Mountain got Best Score, some technical awards and some acting nominations to make up for the fact that it wasn't getting Best Picture, so Babel also got Best Score, some technical awards and some acting nominations. I have concluded that that is how the Academy thinks: "We know this movie probably doesn't deserve this award, but since we're not giving it that really big award and it's still a good movie, we can go ahead and give it this one." Not cool.

However, the ceremony's flaws were almost made up for by seeing Martin Scorsese finally get an Oscar after decades of quality films and six nominations. A major wrong in the land of cinema was righted. Good for you, Marty. Good for you.

Quote of Da Moment:

"Zak, why exactly am I wearing a g-string bikini?"
"Because you are a model and you're a sonar operator."
--Incident at Loch Ness

The producer, writer/co-director/star, associate producer and co-editor of this movie were at NC State yesterday for a Q&A, before it premiered at the Carolina Theater later in the evening. I wrote a preview article about it. I spoke with them for a while - they're a really cool group of people. A lot of them went to the North Carolina School of the Arts (I wonder if they know David Short?) or NC State. It's refreshing to see a situation in which people really went out and made a movie themselves straight out of college (or in college, in the case of some). They started out with a few thousand dollars, and managed to eventually find enough investors that the final film has a budget of a few hundred thousand dollars. Less than half a million.

Anyways, I'm off to the Carolina Theater in around half an hour to go see the full film, and maybe hang out with the group some more. Hopefully the movie will be good - at the very least, I know it will be unique. For more info on the film, go here.

That's right. Another Singles Awareness Day has come and gone. If you're single, be aware of it. The rest of us are involved in a little something called a relationship, and we're loving it (or at least I am). Try to solve this problem by next year.

Life has been kicking my butt for the past few days. I've had my hands full keeping up with school, my various areas of employment, study abroad applications, tests, etc. For example: Today I went to finally work out the last part of my study abroad application. They've been giving me the run-around as to who I need to get to sign what for the past few weeks. So I went today to the two people I thought I was supposed to go to. It turned out I was supposed to see three other people as well. So, fed up with it all, I went right away to go see these people and get it all out of the way. The result: it's finally all done (I hope) and will be turned in tomorrow. However, I missed class in order to achieve this.

I've got three tests this week. I already had Sociology and Weather tests, which I began studying for a couple of hours before they began. Not cool. Also, this Friday I've got a Chinese test which I'm betting is not going to be very fun at all. With everything going on I haven't had as much time to focus on Chinese as I probably need.

Thank God for Netflix. There's nothing like running around all day, finishing everything you need to do, and being able to plop down on the couch and watch a good movie. I think I would have gone insane by now if I wasn't able to entertain my brain for an hour and a half every few days.

I recently saw two movies related to sales: Boiler Room and Glengarry Glen Ross. I got the first because a lot of Southwestern guys love it, and the second just because it seemed like every day or so for a week I heard someone mention it and how good it was. Both are decent films, particularly the latter. Boiler Room follows a young man who becomes a stock broker for a company that he discovers is ripping people off. A lot of the movie involves people making cold calls on the phone, trying to sell stuff. There were many times, particularly when they talked about selling (eg. the importance of the close), when I thought to myself, "Hey! That's like Southwestern!" Except, of course, that Southwestern is legit. Anyways, it's a decently entertaining film, except for the soundtrack which has too much rap for my tastes. Not fantastic, but good. Ben Affleck also makes an appearance in one scene and nearly steals the show.

Glengarry Glen Ross is written by famed playwright/screenwriter/director David Mamet, and follows four real estate salesman (again, phone calls) involved in an intense sales competition: the winner gets a Cadillac, the loser gets fired. Similar to Boiler Room, Alec Baldwin makes a killer cameo in which he basically sets up the entire film. It's only one scene, but I think it's probably the best performance I've ever seen of his. That's how good it is. I had heard from a lot of people that the dialogue in this movie was supposed to be excellent. At first, I didn't think so. That's mainly because I was expecting "excellent" to mean witty and humorous and original, Taratino or Kevin Smith style. With the exception of a couple lines here and there, the dialogue isn't that witty. However, it suddenly hit me after watching the film that the dialogue really flowed. It had a rhythm and a realness to it that a lot of films lack. Combined with incredible performances by all the leads, the result is a very good film that easily could have been boring since there are really only 2-3 main locations. It's obvious that it's based on a play, and that's probably where the strength of the dialogue comes from. Worth seeing.

This afternoon I was on a conference call with Billy Bob Thornton (star of The Astronaut Farmer), Mark Polish (writer of The Astronaut Farmer) and Michael Polish (writer/director of The Astronaut Farmer). Guess what movie the call was about? Anyways, it went well. I asked the Polish Brothers two questions. Billy Bob also happens to be a very funny guy.

I've got three advanced screening tickets: Ghost Rider, Reno 911: Miami, and Amazing Grace. I'll probably end up going to all three of them. I mention this only because it makes me feel good being able to see movies before the general public. Even if the movies suck.

Be warned: the following paragraphs involve a discussion of strong language, and contain strong language.

My screenwriting class is going awesome. I've been turning in my assignments, some of them receiving a more favorable response than others. I've noticed a detail that might be the sign of phase I'm going through: In the past two of three assignments, I've focused on two main characters. One character is pretty reserved and polite. The other is basically the exact opposite, and spews enough profanity to make Eddie Murphy blush. Okay, maybe not that much, but you get the idea. I wonder if my subconscious is trying to tell me something, or if perhaps this is simply due to the fact that lately I seem to have to be coming to terms with many polar opposites and conflicting forces. But anyways, after some deep thought, I have come to a realization that confirms a suspicion I've had for years now:

This is how people really talk, and this could arguably be considered regular English. Not quite, but almost.

I grew up listening to people complaining (and complaining myself) about the amount of profanity in movies. It's unrealistic, they said. It's just vulgarity for vulgarity's sake. There's no need for it.

I have come to realize that this is how people actually talk nowadays. And it's not because people in the movies said "fuck" one too many times. It's vice-versa. People in the movies say "fuck" because that's what people in real life say.

People like to complain about how Hollywood pollutes our culture. I'm not saying it doesn't - in fact, I think in many ways it does. However, at the same time, Hollywood just takes what's already present in a culture and puts it in movies. Writers go, "If I'm going to tell a story people relate to, I have to tell a story that contains real dialogue and real situations. My characters have to be like real people."

Consider this: Psycho was the first film to contain a toilet flushing. Before then, I guess studios thought it was too vulgar to make bathroom references. Before that, people probably freaked out when Clark Gable said "damn" in the famed line from Gone With The Wind. But one would be foolish to assume that "damn" was the most serious curse word floating around even back in 1939, or that it was unacceptable. In many ways, film has simply followed cultural values, rather than shape them. In 1939, "damn" was probably strong, but it wasn't strong enough not to be culturally acceptable. I'm sure a lot of the words people use today (if they were around then) would have been deemed too strong to use in that film. I'm sure certain words back then were so socially unacceptable that only a few people used them - hence them not being included in the film. But since "damn" was (I believe) used by a sizeable portion of the population, it was realistic to include it in a movie.

In 2007, "fuck" is 1939's "damn." I'm serious. The word is basically now an accepted part of the English language. The majority of my friends use it - at times, very frequently. Not because it's vulgar and they'd like to seem "cool" or "rebellious", but for the opposite reason. It's not vulgar anymore. It's acceptable. Is it still considered by some to be a strong, curse word? Yes. But people can say it without fear of being thought of as an offensive minority. If anything, they are an offensive majority. They say it not because their vocabulary is lacking, but simply because it's a common word. It can be used as nearly any part of speech, for a variety of intended effects. It can easily be shocking, or even comedic.

Therefore, is it unrealistic to have a lot of swearing in a film? No. In fact, one might even argue that it is necessary to have a lot of "swear words" in a film simply because so many people now use them so freely. Is it possible to go overboard? Absolutely. Like any other word, curse words, if used in the wrong way, can make for some bad dialogue. Although a lot of people use a lot of profanity, they don't use it a couple times in every sentence. However, nowadays it would be foolish to shy away from using those words simply because they were still in the category of "profanity." If that's the most realistic and effective word to use, that's the most realistic and effective word to use.

Perhaps this is why most profanity in film doesn't bother me anymore, and lately I seem not to have a lot of qualms with writing it (though I'm betting this is a phase, and I'm already fairly positive my feature-length screenplay project will not call for a lot of it, since in some ways it really can be a lazy man's way out when it comes to writing). Profanity in many ways just doesn't seem like profanity anymore.

This begs the question: Are they any real curse words left? Are there any words that are still so taboo that society hasn't yet accepted them, and thus they haven't made their way into many films? I can only think of one: cunt. I think I've heard that used in a movie maybe 2-3 times, and each time it caught me off guard (as it probably was intended to). You just don't hear it a lot in movies because you don't hear it a lot in real life - it's still very much unacceptable. However, words like "fuck" and "cock" and "pussy" and "bitch" are now very much acceptable, and very much realistic, as they are very much used (at least by most of the people I know). In many ways, like "hell" and "damn" before them, they have made the transition from "curse word" to "regular/okay word."

Anyways, regular or not, I still don't use them in real life. I guess it's the way I was brought up - it would feel unnatural to curse (and I still notice when I hear them, if that makes sense), even though I guess I really don't have much of a problem with most curse words today, and wonder if they should even be considered curse words at all.

Wow, that was a long tangent.

Back to my screenwriting class. I will hopefully have a general outline of my big screenplay written by next Tuesday. I've discussed my idea with the professor, and we've both agreed that it's very risky. If handled improperly, it could really fall apart. So within the next few days I plan on sitting down and really figuring out how everything is going to piece together. I'm very excited about my idea, I just have to be careful how I develop it. Wish me luck.

Quotes of Da Moment:
"To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving. Therefore to love is to suffer, not to love is to suffer. To suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy then is to suffer. But suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be unhappy one must love, or love to suffer, or suffer from too much happiness. I hope you're getting this down."
--Woody Allen, Love and Death

"There's an important phrase that we use here, and I think it's time that you all learned it: Act as if. You understand what that means? Act as if you are the fucking President of this firm. Act as if you got a 9-inch cock. Okay? Act as if."
--Boiler Room

"A-B-C. A-Always, B-Be, C-Closing. Always be closing, always be closing."
--Glengarry Glen Ross

Clickie.

99% of that movie has nothing to do with my life. But for whatever reason I looked at the protagonist and was like, "Hey, it's me." With the exception that I've never been punched out at a party and never had the dramatic fight-that-brings-us-closer-together moment. Also, in a movie about me, that song would not be in the soundtrack. It's dumb.

Now, the trailer for a movie that actually is pretty much modeled after my life was posted a long time ago. That would be this one. Except for the whole losing-his-virginity subplot, that's me. Just look at the facts:

1) Guy's last name is Johnson.
2) Guy is filmmaker.
3) Guy does high school radio thing - obviously they used artistic license when describing my brief venture into podcasting.
4) Guy loves Star Wars.
5) Guy is geek.
6) Guy likes girl who is looks to be of Asian descent.
7) Guy prefers movies over real life.

Will this movie just come out already?!

Quote of Da Moment:
"I ran into Isosceles. He had a great idea for a new triangle!"
--Woody Allen

Right now I'm kinda in a funk. Not sure why. Part of me feels like the guy in the Radiohead song "Creep":

I don't care if it hurts,
I wanna have control
I want a perfect body
I want a perfect soul

I want you to notice
when I'm not around
You're so very special
I wish I was special

Selfish? Yes. Angsty? Yes. One of those nights, I guess.There's nothing new under the sun, the verse says. Such would be my life. Same as usual. I am in need of a major development.

I went to see The Fountain again on Sunday, this time with Morgan and Mason. Morgan had already seen it. Both of us came out still loving it. Mason hated it. Such is the nature of the film - there is no middle ground.

I also watched An Evening With Kevin Smith, which is basically a 4-hour long compilation of scenes from the director's tour to different college campuses across the country. I split it up, of course. It's great. I didn't know listening to a guy answer questions for that long could be so entertaining. Like Kevin Smith or not, the guy's got wit and charisma, and he's not afraid to speak his mind. It's worth watching just to hear him talk about working on one of the script drafts for the new Superman movie about a decade ago. No wonder the project took so long to finally get made.

As a matter of fact, that scene can be watched here. It's hilarious, but be warned of profanity.

Went to Nashville. Learned a lot. Had some fun. Hopefully I'll get over my Southwestern recruiting curse soon. I'm not the only one at NCSU that seems to be suffering from it. Interesting thought inspired by the conferences: If we look at the financial side of success, only 2% of Americans make more than $100,000 a year. Only 5% of Americans make more than $60,000. Yet nearly 100% of people (particularly college students) believe that they will be in that bracket as soon as they graduate, despite the fact that the majority are lazy and do nothing to separate themselves from their peers. What is it in American culture and in the American psyche that causes this naivety?

Hm. Not much else to say. I've been doing assignments for my screenwriting class, which is going well. Sometimes it's hard to get the work done on time, particularly if I'm gone over the weekend, but I'm learning a lot. Still developing my idea for my feature-length screenplay. Maybe later I'll post what I wrote for those assignments, just to see what people think.

I'm debating whether or not to go see Hannibal Rising this weekend. My gut tells me it's going to suck, but it's Hannibal Lecter, who I am currently obsessed with. We'll see, we'll see...

Also: Holy crap. I have no idea how this could be adapted into a film, but if they find a way to make it work, then I don't have a problem with it. Should be interesting to see how the project develops. It surprises me that after Narnia they'd turn to one of Lewis' more theological works, rather than something like his space trilogy.

And now, precious sleep.

Quote of Da Moment:
"I always like to think of it as like, I've got 'em sittin' there, whip a little message at 'em. Whip a little moral at 'em. Whip a little of what my view of the world is. Because that's what every good filmmaker does. You can't change the world. You can't cure the world. All you can do is be like, 'This is it through my eyes. Do you agree or not agree?'"
--Kevin Smith