Thursday, February 17, 2005
Why Calculators are Evil
It's rant time.
Today I had my final mock examination - my second math one. It was 7 questions long, but each question has multiple subquestions, and they can take a long time to do. But I felt pretty ready. I sat down, and they gave us 5 minutes to read through the questions before starting the exam, as is the proper IB way of doing things.
So I'm looking through it, and I realize, "Hey! Most of these questions are exactly like the ones I looked through this morning from past exams! This test doesn't look as hard as I thought it would be." So I'm feeling good. Then I turn on my calculator and get the following message:
YOUR BATTERIES ARE LOW. RECOMMEND CHANGE OF BATTERIES.
So I thought, "Oh well. I'm sure there's a enough power for me to make it through the exam. Especially if I turn it off and let it rest after every major calculation I do.
Then, 5 seconds later, the screen went blank.
What did I do? I did not cry, which is what many students would have done (I'm pretty sure at least half a dozen people have suddenly burst into tears during the exams). I did not start cursing the IB and Texas Instruments and my school. I did not start banging my calculator on my desk, thinking that would help. No. I just went ahead, and did everything I could do on the test where I didn't need a calculator. And every once in a while, I would turn it on, and manage to calculate an answer before the screen went blank again.
Yes, I know. I'm screwed.
I probably should have asked for some extra batteries, but I didn't. In all likelihood it would have been pointless. Because on the sheet that was sent home that explains all the official IB rules for doing exams, one of them mentions that students are not allowed to ask a teacher or another student for extra batteries or another calculator. In other words, we're supposed to be responsible enough to have it taken care of.
Here's what I don't understand. How can I be expected to bring extra batteries if before the exam I receive absolutely no indication that the battery is low? My calculator battery lasts for months and months. There was no reason to think that the battery wouldn't at least get me through my final mock. Did I ever get that message before today? No. When I received that message, did I have more than 5 seconds of power left? No. What are the odds that I wouldn't get that message on my first math exam, but that somehow by the second one the battery was low enough to display the message?
In all likelihood, I just failed that math exam. Which will bring my final CAL grade really far down. And since the school is stupid enough to count 2 weeks of exams as 40% of the final grade, my final grade at the end of the year is going to be low. I probably just dropped from being ranked 7th in the grade to being ranked 27th.
All because of a stupid calculator and its batteries.
Calculators are pointless instruments anyway. They're turning the human race into a race of morons! Seriously, some of the kids in my class (keep in mind these are kids taking math at IB level as well) can't do simple multiplication problems without using a calculator. Some of them probably can probably do less than that in their heads. We rely so much on our calculators that it's foolish to expect us to do well without one. We rely on technology, rather than our own abilities, to do the work for us. We are becoming a race of lazy, close-minded idiots.
I think I deserve extra credit for my effort. After all, I'll probably make a 30% on the exam. That's 30 freakin' percent without a calculator! Probably miles above what other people in my grade could do. I'm a mental math genius! I deserve a scholarship for my effort!
Okay, maybe that's going overboard, but my point still stands. Calculators are evil machines. They should be outlawed. And if not outlawed, then the law should at least make sure that there are plenty of extra batteries around in order to aid us in our mental decomposition.
It's time to make another addition to my list of Things to Do Before I Die.
Things to Do Before I Die:
1. Find out what it's like to wear a thong.
2. Bungee jumping.
3. Running of the bulls.
4. Write a book.
5. Make a movie.
6. Take over the world and make it illegal to use a calculator. We don't need any of that advanced stuff in everyday life anyway.
Quote of Da Moment:
"It is not the job of mathematicians... to do correct arithmetical operations. It is the job of bank accountants."
--Samuil Shchatunovski
"A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems."
--Paul Erdos
Today I had my final mock examination - my second math one. It was 7 questions long, but each question has multiple subquestions, and they can take a long time to do. But I felt pretty ready. I sat down, and they gave us 5 minutes to read through the questions before starting the exam, as is the proper IB way of doing things.
So I'm looking through it, and I realize, "Hey! Most of these questions are exactly like the ones I looked through this morning from past exams! This test doesn't look as hard as I thought it would be." So I'm feeling good. Then I turn on my calculator and get the following message:
YOUR BATTERIES ARE LOW. RECOMMEND CHANGE OF BATTERIES.
So I thought, "Oh well. I'm sure there's a enough power for me to make it through the exam. Especially if I turn it off and let it rest after every major calculation I do.
Then, 5 seconds later, the screen went blank.
What did I do? I did not cry, which is what many students would have done (I'm pretty sure at least half a dozen people have suddenly burst into tears during the exams). I did not start cursing the IB and Texas Instruments and my school. I did not start banging my calculator on my desk, thinking that would help. No. I just went ahead, and did everything I could do on the test where I didn't need a calculator. And every once in a while, I would turn it on, and manage to calculate an answer before the screen went blank again.
Yes, I know. I'm screwed.
I probably should have asked for some extra batteries, but I didn't. In all likelihood it would have been pointless. Because on the sheet that was sent home that explains all the official IB rules for doing exams, one of them mentions that students are not allowed to ask a teacher or another student for extra batteries or another calculator. In other words, we're supposed to be responsible enough to have it taken care of.
Here's what I don't understand. How can I be expected to bring extra batteries if before the exam I receive absolutely no indication that the battery is low? My calculator battery lasts for months and months. There was no reason to think that the battery wouldn't at least get me through my final mock. Did I ever get that message before today? No. When I received that message, did I have more than 5 seconds of power left? No. What are the odds that I wouldn't get that message on my first math exam, but that somehow by the second one the battery was low enough to display the message?
In all likelihood, I just failed that math exam. Which will bring my final CAL grade really far down. And since the school is stupid enough to count 2 weeks of exams as 40% of the final grade, my final grade at the end of the year is going to be low. I probably just dropped from being ranked 7th in the grade to being ranked 27th.
All because of a stupid calculator and its batteries.
Calculators are pointless instruments anyway. They're turning the human race into a race of morons! Seriously, some of the kids in my class (keep in mind these are kids taking math at IB level as well) can't do simple multiplication problems without using a calculator. Some of them probably can probably do less than that in their heads. We rely so much on our calculators that it's foolish to expect us to do well without one. We rely on technology, rather than our own abilities, to do the work for us. We are becoming a race of lazy, close-minded idiots.
I think I deserve extra credit for my effort. After all, I'll probably make a 30% on the exam. That's 30 freakin' percent without a calculator! Probably miles above what other people in my grade could do. I'm a mental math genius! I deserve a scholarship for my effort!
Okay, maybe that's going overboard, but my point still stands. Calculators are evil machines. They should be outlawed. And if not outlawed, then the law should at least make sure that there are plenty of extra batteries around in order to aid us in our mental decomposition.
It's time to make another addition to my list of Things to Do Before I Die.
Things to Do Before I Die:
1. Find out what it's like to wear a thong.
2. Bungee jumping.
3. Running of the bulls.
4. Write a book.
5. Make a movie.
6. Take over the world and make it illegal to use a calculator. We don't need any of that advanced stuff in everyday life anyway.
Quote of Da Moment:
"It is not the job of mathematicians... to do correct arithmetical operations. It is the job of bank accountants."
--Samuil Shchatunovski
"A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems."
--Paul Erdos
# posted by Andrew Johnson : 2/17/2005 04:35:00 PM 
