Sunday, February 05, 2006
The Long and Not the Short of It
I haven't updated in a while, so this post is probably going to be pretty long. It's 2 AM on Sunday morning, so this seems like as best a time to do it as any. I've been meaning to update for a while now, but this past week was insane. I've had my normal hectic schedule going on, plus some unexpected new things, mainly a possible job opportunity this summer. I've been pretty stressed out mentally, but I made it. So let's see, let's see, where to begin...
I'm not going to go to Vintage21 today. I thought I was, and I really want to, but now I think I should probably stay home and have my own personal little worship/quiet time. It's been weeks since I read my Bible outside of church, I'm sorry to say, so I need to do some individual soul-searching for a few hours. Get back into it. I also plan on spending a lot of time praying and meditating about a certain decision.
What decision? Let me start from the beginning. Last Monday night I got a call from a stranger named Daniel that I haven't met before. He tells me my name popped up somehow as someone who might be interested in a summer job. I say, "Yes, I'm interested." He tells me that there's a meeting on Tuesday about a great opportunity that might be something I want to do, and that the average student makes $8500 in eleven weeks. Now he's got my attention, so I agree to attend the meeting.
So I go. Here's the deal. There's this corporation called Southwestern that hires college students to work over the summer. Basically, I'd be doing selling educational textbooks door-to-door. That doesn't sound fun, does it? Here are the advantages:
1) Experience. I'm in desperate need of some serious work experience.
2) Confidence. This is the kind of thing that really helps build confidence and self-esteem. We're talking going up to complete strangers and trying to sell them stuff. That takes guts.
3) Travel/People. If I do this, I'll be in a place I've never been to before, and meet tons of people and make new friends.
4) Learn to sell. This would really teach me how to present...whatever. Ideas, products, designs, you name it. This is the kind of thing that teaches a person how to have a respectable image.
5) Money. The average first-year student made $8500 last year. Many made around $20,000. Some made $30,000.
Here are the disadvantages:
1) Work. This isn't easy. I'd be putting in 70-80 hours of work a week. That's 12-14 a day, 6 days a week. We're talking hard, psychologically and emotionally. Quite possibly the hardest work I've ever done.
2) Leave home. If I do this, I'll be with the Southwestern group in a completely different state, without a car. I will be isolated. I will live with a roommate and stay at the house of a host family. My only real contact with the outside world will come through a telephone.
3) Rejection. The goal is to visit 30 houses a day. On average, most people sell two a day. There will be days when a person doesn't sell any, and days when a person sells a lot. It is possible to make $0 after doing 12-14 hours work. It is also possible to make more than $1000. But there will certainly be far more people who say no than people who say yes. That can be hard to deal with.
Anyways, after the meeting I decided I wanted more information. So I went through a 3-day interview process with one of the student managers, meeting with him for an hour a day. We talked. He sized me up, I sized him up. I asked whatever I wanted. He asked whatever he wanted. It was good and informative, not to mention the fact that he's a nice guy.
My assignment for Tuesday is to write three brief 1-2 paragraph essays. Depending on that, he'll decide whether or not he wants to recruit me. But it doesn't matter if he wants to recruit me or not if I don't want to spend eleven weeks selling books. That's the decision I'm currently in the process of making.
Honestly, when I first heard about it I thought I'd end up not doing it. Now I think I probably will. It's not about the money, though that's certainly a good bonus ($10,000 could buy some sweet filming equipment). It's about the experience. I talked to one guy who made no money last summer (though that is a very very rare situation). And yet, he's going back this summer. Why? Because it changed his life, in terms of his personality and how he viewed himself and people. That's the kind of thing that sounds cool to me. The idea of working twelve hours a day selling books door-to-door doesn't sound very appealing to me, especially when compared to a possible film-related internship. And yet, part of me feels like I need to do this. I need to see what I'm made of. It doesn't matter how much money I make; just surviving for eleven weeks working my butt off and no one except myself to accept the results of what happens. Just me. No one else. If I get through it, it's because I had the endurance and guts to do it. If I do well or poorly, it's not because of anyone else except me.
I like that.
So yeah. I'm gonna be praying hard tomorrow about that, so I can be 110% sure this is what I want to do. And if I am that certain, I'll write the essays and give them to the guy on Tuesday. And if he recruits me, awesome. If not, awesome. All that means is that God wants me to do something else this summer. Something that will benefit me even more in the long run.
But now onto other things. I've been listening to a lot of podcasts lately. I'm a fan of RELEVANT magazine, and they have a podcast over here. It's a pretty good one. And on one episode, they mentioned another podcast over at XXXChurch, so I subscribed to that one too.
XXXChurch is fascinating. I'd heard of it, but never really knew a lot about it until now. Basically, it's the #1 Christian Porn Site. I'm serious. It's a Christian organization focusing on the porn industry and porn addicts. Isn't that amazing? Pornography is one of those subjects the vast majority of Christians don't even want to think about, let alone get involved in porn-related ministry. These guys who founded it (who were porn addicts themselves at one time) go set up stands at porn conventions and hand out tracts and Bibles and just talk to people.
They sell t-shirts that say, "Jesus Loves Porn Stars." And I want one.
This is exactly the kind of thing that Christians need to be doing. Our mission is to get out into the world, and not just the easy, fairly bright places. We're supposed to march into the depths of sin and love people. You know why? Because Jesus loves everybody. Even porn stars.
Anyways...the podcast isn't entirely focused on stuff related to pornography, even though the majority of episodes are. For example, there was one episode in which they talked to a college student who made the national news after he started an atheist student group and had a program called, "Smut for Smut." Basically, people could exchange religious scriptures of any sort for pornography. Sure, that's porn-related, but the majority of the discussion was just related to atheism and Christianity. The guy was a smart kid, and seemed really nice and open-minded. It was a good show.
Then there was another show, which frustrated me to no end. They interviewed a woman who is part of a Baptist church out in Kansas city. Why? Because her church is the kind of conservative congregation that think God hates homosexuals and the majority of people. The stuff this lady said was just....insane. I can hardly believe she called herself a Christian. It was really sad. She sounded very angry, all the time, as if nobody but her was living the right kind of life and she had to do something about it.
She leads groups that goes and protests at the funerals of soldiers who have died in Iraq. Funerals. They wave signs and say slogans like, "Fags get brought home in body bags." They scream about how the soldier is burning in hell. And the very thought of that makes me want to throw up. Sinners or not, I was under the impression that everyone deserved respect simply because they were my fellow human beings. But I guess her church doesn't see things that way.
It was a great show, but very sad. The XXXChurch guys tried to tell her that she shouldn't be so judgmental, and that God loves everyone. She quoted Bible verses that supposedly indicate Christians are supposed to judge the world, and that God's wrath is upon us. I found it telling that the majority of those verses were from the Old Testament.
She said that she is glad we're at war. She is glad Hurricane Katrina struck. She is glad the 9/11 attacks happened. Why? Because according to her, that is God's judgment upon a sinful world. That's God getting back at the fags. She said, paraphrasing: "God has a lot of tools at His disposal. He uses natural disasters. He uses planes. He uses IEDs (explosive devices) to judge the world."
I wanted to slap her. Yes, God allows stuff like that to happen. But, as the guys on the show tried to argue, that does not mean that He causes them. That does not mean that He likes it. That does not mean that He wants sinners to perish and go to hell.
They mentioned how her church has been around for decades, and doesn't even have 100 members. It's mainly made up of people in her very large family (and yes, she takes her young children with her to protest at funerals - that's their idea of a family activity). She responded with the verses in the Bible about how there will only be a small remnant who make it to heaven, to which the response was, "So you think that pretty much only your church is going to be saved?" And she actually said, "Yes. That wouldn't surprise me at all."
Another bit of the conversation went like this:
"We're Christians--"
"No you're not. You just say you are. You think that God loves everyone, but that's just what you want to believe. That's false doctrine covering up the truth."
"Let us speak. We run an organization that ministers to people in the porn industry and deals with the problem of pornography. We have some t-shirts that say 'Jesus Loves Porn Stars.' If we sent you one, would you use it?"
"I might use it for a rag or something. But I certainly wouldn't wear it."
"Why not? You don't think Jesus loves porn stars?"
"No. Because He doesn't. He hates them."
I would encourage you all to subscribe and listen to this episode (Episode 16), just because it will blow you mind that there are people out there like this. This only confirms what Tyler was talking about last week: that the biggest problem with the USA today is American Christianity. Except it's not just the safe, self-centered Christianity. It's the judgmental, angry, and downright hateful Christianity as well. There are people out there who will kill homosexuals in the name of Christ. There are people who rejoice when a soldier is killed in Iraq, because they see it as God's just punishment. And to be perfectly honest, if that's what God is really like, then pardon my language, but I don't want shit to do with Him. Because if that's the case, God isn't much different from people down here. At least apart from God I can live a hedonistic live and feel a little bit of pleasure before He condemns me for all eternity. Because evidently, that's what He's gonna do anyway since I love homosexuals and porn stars. I guess we're all screwed.
Anyways, that's my rant for today. Yesterday I saw Brazil. This movie blew my mind. It's freakin' awesome. Go rent it. It's Terry Gilliam's dystopian 1984-ish tale, and I think it's one of the best movies I've ever seen.
After that I went to a midnight showing of The Rocky Horror Picture Show with Mason, Aaron and Paul. Now some of you might recall me mentioning that movie a few months ago when I saw it for the first time. You know, the weird musical about a transsexual and sex and hedonism and all that stuff. Well, that movie has such a cult following that there are small theaters around the country that still show it. And not only do they show it, they make it an interactive experience. A live cast will act out the movie as it plays onscreen. The audience will have props to throw and play with. People will scream lines at the screen. Until now, I had only heard of this experience. But now I have done it myself.
Right from the beginning I knew I was in for something strange. They called for all the people who hadn't been to a live showing before (the "virgens") to go up to the front and stand in a single-file line. They they crammed up all together. Then they taught us the pelvic thrust dance move. Yeah, there's nothing quite like humping the guy in front of you while in turn having someone's pelvic thrust into your backside. Talk about setting the tone.
The movie was...an experience. I'm not sure I can say I enjoyed it, though I can see how some people could really get into it. I think it was probably just because it was my first time, but it just seemed really chaotic to me. It was like, "Am I supposed to concentrate on the movie, the live cast or the stuff the people in audience are screaming?" I have a feeling I'd like it more if I went back and knew some of the stuff to say. Maybe.
At one point we got into the aisles and danced. At another time, they had the "Underwear Run", in which all those who wanted to could strip down to their undies and run two laps around the theater. No, I didn't do it. My brain at this point was frozen somewhere in the space-time continuum.
The best part was the stuff the staff in the audience yelled out. The problem, unfortunately, was that it was often hard to understand what they were saying. Also, this isn't the kind of thing for the easily offended, or people who don't like the incredibly hedonistic messages and atmosphere. Profanity was screamed, vulgar jokes were made. To give you an idea, every time someone in the movie said the word "Janet" the audience was supposed to yell "Slut!" Every time someone said "Brad" they yelled "Asshole!" Most of the time, however, the staff would just make jokes. Examples:
Guy in Audience: When was the last time you had an erection?
Character in Movie: Four months ago...
Guy in Audience: Are you a slut that likes to fuck and suck?
Character in Movie: Yes.
Guy in Audience: What's your favorite fruit drink?
Character in Movie: I see.
Guy in Audience: What's your favorite sci-fi tv show from the 60s that only lasted a few seasons?
Character in Movie: ...lost in space...
The props were fun, too. During the opening wedding scene, we all threw rice. During a scene in the rain, we put newspaper over our heads. At another point, we sent rolls of toilet paper streaming through the air and threw cards around.
So yeah. Now I can say that I've seen Rocky Horror with a live cast. It's possible that Mason and the others might go back next week (he loves this stuff). I'll be in High Point with Souwa. And to think, next week was going to be lingerie night. Drat.
Saturday I saw Traffic, ate some Chinese food, watched an episode of BSG (woohoo!), did a little school reading, and basically just chilled. And now it's past 3 AM, so I should probably sleep.
I bid you all farewell and wish you happy dreams of bisexual unicorns and little baby Komodo dragons.
Quote of Da Moment:
"What He really hates is the shit that gets carried out in his name. Wars. Bigotry. Televangelism."
--Dogma
"This is your receipt for your husband... and this is my receipt for your receipt."
--Brazil
I'm not going to go to Vintage21 today. I thought I was, and I really want to, but now I think I should probably stay home and have my own personal little worship/quiet time. It's been weeks since I read my Bible outside of church, I'm sorry to say, so I need to do some individual soul-searching for a few hours. Get back into it. I also plan on spending a lot of time praying and meditating about a certain decision.
What decision? Let me start from the beginning. Last Monday night I got a call from a stranger named Daniel that I haven't met before. He tells me my name popped up somehow as someone who might be interested in a summer job. I say, "Yes, I'm interested." He tells me that there's a meeting on Tuesday about a great opportunity that might be something I want to do, and that the average student makes $8500 in eleven weeks. Now he's got my attention, so I agree to attend the meeting.
So I go. Here's the deal. There's this corporation called Southwestern that hires college students to work over the summer. Basically, I'd be doing selling educational textbooks door-to-door. That doesn't sound fun, does it? Here are the advantages:
1) Experience. I'm in desperate need of some serious work experience.
2) Confidence. This is the kind of thing that really helps build confidence and self-esteem. We're talking going up to complete strangers and trying to sell them stuff. That takes guts.
3) Travel/People. If I do this, I'll be in a place I've never been to before, and meet tons of people and make new friends.
4) Learn to sell. This would really teach me how to present...whatever. Ideas, products, designs, you name it. This is the kind of thing that teaches a person how to have a respectable image.
5) Money. The average first-year student made $8500 last year. Many made around $20,000. Some made $30,000.
Here are the disadvantages:
1) Work. This isn't easy. I'd be putting in 70-80 hours of work a week. That's 12-14 a day, 6 days a week. We're talking hard, psychologically and emotionally. Quite possibly the hardest work I've ever done.
2) Leave home. If I do this, I'll be with the Southwestern group in a completely different state, without a car. I will be isolated. I will live with a roommate and stay at the house of a host family. My only real contact with the outside world will come through a telephone.
3) Rejection. The goal is to visit 30 houses a day. On average, most people sell two a day. There will be days when a person doesn't sell any, and days when a person sells a lot. It is possible to make $0 after doing 12-14 hours work. It is also possible to make more than $1000. But there will certainly be far more people who say no than people who say yes. That can be hard to deal with.
Anyways, after the meeting I decided I wanted more information. So I went through a 3-day interview process with one of the student managers, meeting with him for an hour a day. We talked. He sized me up, I sized him up. I asked whatever I wanted. He asked whatever he wanted. It was good and informative, not to mention the fact that he's a nice guy.
My assignment for Tuesday is to write three brief 1-2 paragraph essays. Depending on that, he'll decide whether or not he wants to recruit me. But it doesn't matter if he wants to recruit me or not if I don't want to spend eleven weeks selling books. That's the decision I'm currently in the process of making.
Honestly, when I first heard about it I thought I'd end up not doing it. Now I think I probably will. It's not about the money, though that's certainly a good bonus ($10,000 could buy some sweet filming equipment). It's about the experience. I talked to one guy who made no money last summer (though that is a very very rare situation). And yet, he's going back this summer. Why? Because it changed his life, in terms of his personality and how he viewed himself and people. That's the kind of thing that sounds cool to me. The idea of working twelve hours a day selling books door-to-door doesn't sound very appealing to me, especially when compared to a possible film-related internship. And yet, part of me feels like I need to do this. I need to see what I'm made of. It doesn't matter how much money I make; just surviving for eleven weeks working my butt off and no one except myself to accept the results of what happens. Just me. No one else. If I get through it, it's because I had the endurance and guts to do it. If I do well or poorly, it's not because of anyone else except me.
I like that.
So yeah. I'm gonna be praying hard tomorrow about that, so I can be 110% sure this is what I want to do. And if I am that certain, I'll write the essays and give them to the guy on Tuesday. And if he recruits me, awesome. If not, awesome. All that means is that God wants me to do something else this summer. Something that will benefit me even more in the long run.
But now onto other things. I've been listening to a lot of podcasts lately. I'm a fan of RELEVANT magazine, and they have a podcast over here. It's a pretty good one. And on one episode, they mentioned another podcast over at XXXChurch, so I subscribed to that one too.
XXXChurch is fascinating. I'd heard of it, but never really knew a lot about it until now. Basically, it's the #1 Christian Porn Site. I'm serious. It's a Christian organization focusing on the porn industry and porn addicts. Isn't that amazing? Pornography is one of those subjects the vast majority of Christians don't even want to think about, let alone get involved in porn-related ministry. These guys who founded it (who were porn addicts themselves at one time) go set up stands at porn conventions and hand out tracts and Bibles and just talk to people.
They sell t-shirts that say, "Jesus Loves Porn Stars." And I want one.
This is exactly the kind of thing that Christians need to be doing. Our mission is to get out into the world, and not just the easy, fairly bright places. We're supposed to march into the depths of sin and love people. You know why? Because Jesus loves everybody. Even porn stars.
Anyways...the podcast isn't entirely focused on stuff related to pornography, even though the majority of episodes are. For example, there was one episode in which they talked to a college student who made the national news after he started an atheist student group and had a program called, "Smut for Smut." Basically, people could exchange religious scriptures of any sort for pornography. Sure, that's porn-related, but the majority of the discussion was just related to atheism and Christianity. The guy was a smart kid, and seemed really nice and open-minded. It was a good show.
Then there was another show, which frustrated me to no end. They interviewed a woman who is part of a Baptist church out in Kansas city. Why? Because her church is the kind of conservative congregation that think God hates homosexuals and the majority of people. The stuff this lady said was just....insane. I can hardly believe she called herself a Christian. It was really sad. She sounded very angry, all the time, as if nobody but her was living the right kind of life and she had to do something about it.
She leads groups that goes and protests at the funerals of soldiers who have died in Iraq. Funerals. They wave signs and say slogans like, "Fags get brought home in body bags." They scream about how the soldier is burning in hell. And the very thought of that makes me want to throw up. Sinners or not, I was under the impression that everyone deserved respect simply because they were my fellow human beings. But I guess her church doesn't see things that way.
It was a great show, but very sad. The XXXChurch guys tried to tell her that she shouldn't be so judgmental, and that God loves everyone. She quoted Bible verses that supposedly indicate Christians are supposed to judge the world, and that God's wrath is upon us. I found it telling that the majority of those verses were from the Old Testament.
She said that she is glad we're at war. She is glad Hurricane Katrina struck. She is glad the 9/11 attacks happened. Why? Because according to her, that is God's judgment upon a sinful world. That's God getting back at the fags. She said, paraphrasing: "God has a lot of tools at His disposal. He uses natural disasters. He uses planes. He uses IEDs (explosive devices) to judge the world."
I wanted to slap her. Yes, God allows stuff like that to happen. But, as the guys on the show tried to argue, that does not mean that He causes them. That does not mean that He likes it. That does not mean that He wants sinners to perish and go to hell.
They mentioned how her church has been around for decades, and doesn't even have 100 members. It's mainly made up of people in her very large family (and yes, she takes her young children with her to protest at funerals - that's their idea of a family activity). She responded with the verses in the Bible about how there will only be a small remnant who make it to heaven, to which the response was, "So you think that pretty much only your church is going to be saved?" And she actually said, "Yes. That wouldn't surprise me at all."
Another bit of the conversation went like this:
"We're Christians--"
"No you're not. You just say you are. You think that God loves everyone, but that's just what you want to believe. That's false doctrine covering up the truth."
"Let us speak. We run an organization that ministers to people in the porn industry and deals with the problem of pornography. We have some t-shirts that say 'Jesus Loves Porn Stars.' If we sent you one, would you use it?"
"I might use it for a rag or something. But I certainly wouldn't wear it."
"Why not? You don't think Jesus loves porn stars?"
"No. Because He doesn't. He hates them."
I would encourage you all to subscribe and listen to this episode (Episode 16), just because it will blow you mind that there are people out there like this. This only confirms what Tyler was talking about last week: that the biggest problem with the USA today is American Christianity. Except it's not just the safe, self-centered Christianity. It's the judgmental, angry, and downright hateful Christianity as well. There are people out there who will kill homosexuals in the name of Christ. There are people who rejoice when a soldier is killed in Iraq, because they see it as God's just punishment. And to be perfectly honest, if that's what God is really like, then pardon my language, but I don't want shit to do with Him. Because if that's the case, God isn't much different from people down here. At least apart from God I can live a hedonistic live and feel a little bit of pleasure before He condemns me for all eternity. Because evidently, that's what He's gonna do anyway since I love homosexuals and porn stars. I guess we're all screwed.
Anyways, that's my rant for today. Yesterday I saw Brazil. This movie blew my mind. It's freakin' awesome. Go rent it. It's Terry Gilliam's dystopian 1984-ish tale, and I think it's one of the best movies I've ever seen.
After that I went to a midnight showing of The Rocky Horror Picture Show with Mason, Aaron and Paul. Now some of you might recall me mentioning that movie a few months ago when I saw it for the first time. You know, the weird musical about a transsexual and sex and hedonism and all that stuff. Well, that movie has such a cult following that there are small theaters around the country that still show it. And not only do they show it, they make it an interactive experience. A live cast will act out the movie as it plays onscreen. The audience will have props to throw and play with. People will scream lines at the screen. Until now, I had only heard of this experience. But now I have done it myself.
Right from the beginning I knew I was in for something strange. They called for all the people who hadn't been to a live showing before (the "virgens") to go up to the front and stand in a single-file line. They they crammed up all together. Then they taught us the pelvic thrust dance move. Yeah, there's nothing quite like humping the guy in front of you while in turn having someone's pelvic thrust into your backside. Talk about setting the tone.
The movie was...an experience. I'm not sure I can say I enjoyed it, though I can see how some people could really get into it. I think it was probably just because it was my first time, but it just seemed really chaotic to me. It was like, "Am I supposed to concentrate on the movie, the live cast or the stuff the people in audience are screaming?" I have a feeling I'd like it more if I went back and knew some of the stuff to say. Maybe.
At one point we got into the aisles and danced. At another time, they had the "Underwear Run", in which all those who wanted to could strip down to their undies and run two laps around the theater. No, I didn't do it. My brain at this point was frozen somewhere in the space-time continuum.
The best part was the stuff the staff in the audience yelled out. The problem, unfortunately, was that it was often hard to understand what they were saying. Also, this isn't the kind of thing for the easily offended, or people who don't like the incredibly hedonistic messages and atmosphere. Profanity was screamed, vulgar jokes were made. To give you an idea, every time someone in the movie said the word "Janet" the audience was supposed to yell "Slut!" Every time someone said "Brad" they yelled "Asshole!" Most of the time, however, the staff would just make jokes. Examples:
Guy in Audience: When was the last time you had an erection?
Character in Movie: Four months ago...
Guy in Audience: Are you a slut that likes to fuck and suck?
Character in Movie: Yes.
Guy in Audience: What's your favorite fruit drink?
Character in Movie: I see.
Guy in Audience: What's your favorite sci-fi tv show from the 60s that only lasted a few seasons?
Character in Movie: ...lost in space...
The props were fun, too. During the opening wedding scene, we all threw rice. During a scene in the rain, we put newspaper over our heads. At another point, we sent rolls of toilet paper streaming through the air and threw cards around.
So yeah. Now I can say that I've seen Rocky Horror with a live cast. It's possible that Mason and the others might go back next week (he loves this stuff). I'll be in High Point with Souwa. And to think, next week was going to be lingerie night. Drat.
Saturday I saw Traffic, ate some Chinese food, watched an episode of BSG (woohoo!), did a little school reading, and basically just chilled. And now it's past 3 AM, so I should probably sleep.
I bid you all farewell and wish you happy dreams of bisexual unicorns and little baby Komodo dragons.
Quote of Da Moment:
"What He really hates is the shit that gets carried out in his name. Wars. Bigotry. Televangelism."
--Dogma
"This is your receipt for your husband... and this is my receipt for your receipt."
--Brazil
# posted by Andrew Johnson : 2/05/2006 01:49:00 AM 
