Wednesday, April 25, 2007
Sleep? What's That?
So, I've finished editing my short video for my Honors seminar group project. At least, I've gotten it to a point I can live with. There are some audio glitches here and there, and I didn't have time to do any sort of color correction, but on the whole, it could be a lot worse. The people I've shown it to have liked it, and think it's funny. Hopefully my teacher and the rest of the class will feel the same way when we present it on Monday.
Now, it's time for the next challenge: finishing my feature-length screenplay. I've got around 10 days to hand in what will most like end up being around a 75-100 page script. Right now I've got around 30 pages. I don't expect to be getting a lot of sleep. The good news is the class seems to have responded well to the excerpts I've shown, so it looks like I'm heading in the right direction. At this point, I've just got to remember that it's a first draft, so it doesn't have to be perfect. It just has to be complete. This is an idea I'd really like to return to for future revisions, because it's a project that could easily be made for a very low budget. It's also somewhat unique, genre-wise, so at least I know I'm not entirely unoriginal. We'll see what happens. However, I can expect a couple of sleepless nights between now and next Friday.
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I updated my film blog with a couple of articles I wrote for the paper. Also, I saw Hot Fuzz. I don't have time to write a full-fledged review, but in a nutshell: it's really good. Go see it. Most people say it isn't as good as Shaun of the Dead, but I liked it about the same, probably because I consider Shaun to be slightly overrated. Hot Fuzz is just a whole lot of fun, and the second half is brilliant. There are so many references to other films that I'm positive I didn't catch them all. Definitely check it out.
In other movie news, tomorrow I will be skipping Vintage21 Bible study. They'll be discussing the issue Tyler talked about on Sunday, which is sex. Like every other guy, I went to church on Sunday eagerly awaiting to listen about the joys and dangers of sex. However, unfortunately, the message wasn't just about sex, it was also about relationships in general surrounding sex. Not cool. Though it was a really good talk, and went into a lot of great ideas, I can't handle it again. While I can take note of the sex points for future reference, recent personal issues prevent me from thinking about the other stuff without going emotionally bonkers.
So, as much as I'd like to talk about the various issues with other college-age kids (let's be honest: talking about sex is always fun, particularly if one is a 20-something male with no experience in it), I have decided to pass on the opportunity in order to go to a screening of Knocked Up, the latest film by the director of one of my biggest surprises of 2005, The 40 Year-Old Virgin. The way I figure, it's just replacing one experience related to sex with another, and this'll probably make me laugh more. Early reviews are extremely positive, and I'm hoping it proves to be as sweet and positive a look at sex and its consequences as The 40 Year-Old Virgin (which I would go as far to call a "Christian" film). I wouldn't go if it was coming out before I leave for the summer (I'll be going to Wisconsin), but it doesn't. I'll actually get to see it more then a month before its wide release. Woohoo!
You can view the trailer for Knocked Up here.
---
Now comes the part of the post where I make statements which cast doubts on my spiritual stability (which I guess is appropriate, since I'm not feeling very spiritually stable, and maybe that's a good thing). To any IMB personnel reading this: Do not fire my parents. They are much wiser, stronger people than me. They raised me right, and it ain't their fault if I turn out all wrong.
I'm about halfway through Ruthless Trust, the sequel to The Ragamuffin Gospel. So far, it's very good. It actually talks about a lot of the same things I wrote about a few posts go. I guess I'm a mind-reader or can see the future or something.
Spiritually speaking, I am currently at a place of dire uncertainty, and I don't know if that's a good or bad thing. All the theological tenets I used to be sure of are now just options. At the most, they are things I still mostly believe in, yet are in the background, having been replaced by other, more important revelations. There is only a single thing of which I am certain: the love of Christ. That's probably heretical in a lot of ways, but at the moment it's what part of me is feeling. All of the rest doesn't seem to matter as much in comparison. And I mean everything.
Exclusivism vs. universalism? It's just theology. Not to mention an impossible question to answer. Evolution? Theology. Eschatology? Theology.
Free will vs. predestination? Theology. Though I firmly believe that free will is what makes the one thing I am sure of (Christ's love and grace) such an amazing thing.
Calvinism? At the moment I disagree with around 3-4 points of the whole "TULIP" belief system, though that might change once I get around to doing some more thorough research on the issue.
I'm not even certain of the fundamentals even more, the "basics" of Christianity (or at least the brand of Christianity I was raised in). The nature of Christ as the Son of God? Theology. The Trinity? Theology.
The Bible as the Word of God? Theology. It's something I find myself having to question more and more as I ponder the role of exegesis and the role of interpretation. Can there even be a "right" way of interpreting the Bible, particularly considering that it can (and has) been used to justify just about anything, no matter how terrible? Does having the right interpretation even matter, as long as one's heart is in the right place? And what exactly is the right place? By placing the Bible on such a high pedestal, did Protestant Christianity just replace a Pope of flesh and blood with a Pope of pages and ink? I don't know.
In the end, what is the core of Christianity? I used to think it was, "Acceptance of Christ as your personal Lord and Savior, and accepting that he died for your sins." But I'm starting to wonder if even that is too narrow a definition. The idea of a "personal Lord and Savior" isn't even biblical, at least that I know of. And everything about dying for sins... yes, I believe that, but is it necessary? Only around 1/3 of the world claims to be "Christian", and I doubt all of those people really know what that means. I have to believe that more people than that, in the end, are destined for heaven, or paradise, or whatever the afterlife may entail (again, it's more theology). I have to believe that God's mercy is wider than my narrow, limited view of Him.
When I examine the person of Jesus Christ, and meditate on theological issues, they all crumble away in the face of His divine love. Suddenly, it's okay not to believe that the Bible is the Word of God - I'm not even sure where I stand on that. It's okay not to believe that Christ is the Son of God. It's okay not to believe or understand the cross, atonement, resurrection. When I'm honest with myself, I have to admit to myself that these are all theological issues in one way or another, and while theology can be a great thing, it isn't THE thing. God's love is the thing, and it's big. How big? Big enough for everyone? I don't know. I hope so. Honestly, I think the coolest thing would be to get to heaven and have Hitler kneeling in awe before the majesty of The Creator Of The Universe. Is that going to happen? I don't know. But I think the love of Christ at least much bigger than we give it credit for.
I wonder if Jesus was the leader of a church today, what the official church doctrine would be. Would it say, "In order to be part of my Church, you must believe I am the Son of God, the Bible is My Word, and that I died for your sins"? Would He even bother with a Statement of Faith? Sometimes I find myself thinking that it would only be two sentences long: "I love you, even when you don't believe I do. That is enough." Could that be the case, or is it just wishful thinking?
In the end, who can know the mind of God? We can't. We have to be willing to admit to ourselves that it is quite possible all of our doctrines and all of our theology, no matter how basic it may seem, is wrong. It's a scary thing to think about, but in some ways that's a good thing, since it forces us to push aside all of our pride and egoism and fall face first onto His love. When dealing with the complexities of God, and the world, and culture, there is no way to concretely define what is right and wrong. Heck, it's even hard to concretely define if there is such a thing as right and wrong, or at least that it's possible to know right and wrong in every situation. God can see hearts. We can't. Christ said the two most important commandments were, "Love the Lord your God with all your heart" and "Love your neighbor as yourself." As long as we do that, does the rest even really matter? What if we don't even do those two things?
In God, are there any certainties, except love? What do you have to know and do? What are the non-negotiables? Are there any? I don't know. And the more I think about it, the more I start to realize that "I don't know" is perhaps the best possible response. I really hate that, but maybe that's what Christianity is all about: not knowing anything except the love of Christ, and translating that into love for others. Maybe that is indeed the basis of faith and trust - admitting that all of one's beliefs and passions and emotions and convictions are dust in the Presence of the Holy.
Or maybe I'm completely off base and missing something important. I don't know.
Now, it's time for the next challenge: finishing my feature-length screenplay. I've got around 10 days to hand in what will most like end up being around a 75-100 page script. Right now I've got around 30 pages. I don't expect to be getting a lot of sleep. The good news is the class seems to have responded well to the excerpts I've shown, so it looks like I'm heading in the right direction. At this point, I've just got to remember that it's a first draft, so it doesn't have to be perfect. It just has to be complete. This is an idea I'd really like to return to for future revisions, because it's a project that could easily be made for a very low budget. It's also somewhat unique, genre-wise, so at least I know I'm not entirely unoriginal. We'll see what happens. However, I can expect a couple of sleepless nights between now and next Friday.
---
I updated my film blog with a couple of articles I wrote for the paper. Also, I saw Hot Fuzz. I don't have time to write a full-fledged review, but in a nutshell: it's really good. Go see it. Most people say it isn't as good as Shaun of the Dead, but I liked it about the same, probably because I consider Shaun to be slightly overrated. Hot Fuzz is just a whole lot of fun, and the second half is brilliant. There are so many references to other films that I'm positive I didn't catch them all. Definitely check it out.
In other movie news, tomorrow I will be skipping Vintage21 Bible study. They'll be discussing the issue Tyler talked about on Sunday, which is sex. Like every other guy, I went to church on Sunday eagerly awaiting to listen about the joys and dangers of sex. However, unfortunately, the message wasn't just about sex, it was also about relationships in general surrounding sex. Not cool. Though it was a really good talk, and went into a lot of great ideas, I can't handle it again. While I can take note of the sex points for future reference, recent personal issues prevent me from thinking about the other stuff without going emotionally bonkers.
So, as much as I'd like to talk about the various issues with other college-age kids (let's be honest: talking about sex is always fun, particularly if one is a 20-something male with no experience in it), I have decided to pass on the opportunity in order to go to a screening of Knocked Up, the latest film by the director of one of my biggest surprises of 2005, The 40 Year-Old Virgin. The way I figure, it's just replacing one experience related to sex with another, and this'll probably make me laugh more. Early reviews are extremely positive, and I'm hoping it proves to be as sweet and positive a look at sex and its consequences as The 40 Year-Old Virgin (which I would go as far to call a "Christian" film). I wouldn't go if it was coming out before I leave for the summer (I'll be going to Wisconsin), but it doesn't. I'll actually get to see it more then a month before its wide release. Woohoo!
You can view the trailer for Knocked Up here.
---
Now comes the part of the post where I make statements which cast doubts on my spiritual stability (which I guess is appropriate, since I'm not feeling very spiritually stable, and maybe that's a good thing). To any IMB personnel reading this: Do not fire my parents. They are much wiser, stronger people than me. They raised me right, and it ain't their fault if I turn out all wrong.
I'm about halfway through Ruthless Trust, the sequel to The Ragamuffin Gospel. So far, it's very good. It actually talks about a lot of the same things I wrote about a few posts go. I guess I'm a mind-reader or can see the future or something.
Spiritually speaking, I am currently at a place of dire uncertainty, and I don't know if that's a good or bad thing. All the theological tenets I used to be sure of are now just options. At the most, they are things I still mostly believe in, yet are in the background, having been replaced by other, more important revelations. There is only a single thing of which I am certain: the love of Christ. That's probably heretical in a lot of ways, but at the moment it's what part of me is feeling. All of the rest doesn't seem to matter as much in comparison. And I mean everything.
Exclusivism vs. universalism? It's just theology. Not to mention an impossible question to answer. Evolution? Theology. Eschatology? Theology.
Free will vs. predestination? Theology. Though I firmly believe that free will is what makes the one thing I am sure of (Christ's love and grace) such an amazing thing.
Calvinism? At the moment I disagree with around 3-4 points of the whole "TULIP" belief system, though that might change once I get around to doing some more thorough research on the issue.
I'm not even certain of the fundamentals even more, the "basics" of Christianity (or at least the brand of Christianity I was raised in). The nature of Christ as the Son of God? Theology. The Trinity? Theology.
The Bible as the Word of God? Theology. It's something I find myself having to question more and more as I ponder the role of exegesis and the role of interpretation. Can there even be a "right" way of interpreting the Bible, particularly considering that it can (and has) been used to justify just about anything, no matter how terrible? Does having the right interpretation even matter, as long as one's heart is in the right place? And what exactly is the right place? By placing the Bible on such a high pedestal, did Protestant Christianity just replace a Pope of flesh and blood with a Pope of pages and ink? I don't know.
In the end, what is the core of Christianity? I used to think it was, "Acceptance of Christ as your personal Lord and Savior, and accepting that he died for your sins." But I'm starting to wonder if even that is too narrow a definition. The idea of a "personal Lord and Savior" isn't even biblical, at least that I know of. And everything about dying for sins... yes, I believe that, but is it necessary? Only around 1/3 of the world claims to be "Christian", and I doubt all of those people really know what that means. I have to believe that more people than that, in the end, are destined for heaven, or paradise, or whatever the afterlife may entail (again, it's more theology). I have to believe that God's mercy is wider than my narrow, limited view of Him.
When I examine the person of Jesus Christ, and meditate on theological issues, they all crumble away in the face of His divine love. Suddenly, it's okay not to believe that the Bible is the Word of God - I'm not even sure where I stand on that. It's okay not to believe that Christ is the Son of God. It's okay not to believe or understand the cross, atonement, resurrection. When I'm honest with myself, I have to admit to myself that these are all theological issues in one way or another, and while theology can be a great thing, it isn't THE thing. God's love is the thing, and it's big. How big? Big enough for everyone? I don't know. I hope so. Honestly, I think the coolest thing would be to get to heaven and have Hitler kneeling in awe before the majesty of The Creator Of The Universe. Is that going to happen? I don't know. But I think the love of Christ at least much bigger than we give it credit for.
I wonder if Jesus was the leader of a church today, what the official church doctrine would be. Would it say, "In order to be part of my Church, you must believe I am the Son of God, the Bible is My Word, and that I died for your sins"? Would He even bother with a Statement of Faith? Sometimes I find myself thinking that it would only be two sentences long: "I love you, even when you don't believe I do. That is enough." Could that be the case, or is it just wishful thinking?
In the end, who can know the mind of God? We can't. We have to be willing to admit to ourselves that it is quite possible all of our doctrines and all of our theology, no matter how basic it may seem, is wrong. It's a scary thing to think about, but in some ways that's a good thing, since it forces us to push aside all of our pride and egoism and fall face first onto His love. When dealing with the complexities of God, and the world, and culture, there is no way to concretely define what is right and wrong. Heck, it's even hard to concretely define if there is such a thing as right and wrong, or at least that it's possible to know right and wrong in every situation. God can see hearts. We can't. Christ said the two most important commandments were, "Love the Lord your God with all your heart" and "Love your neighbor as yourself." As long as we do that, does the rest even really matter? What if we don't even do those two things?
In God, are there any certainties, except love? What do you have to know and do? What are the non-negotiables? Are there any? I don't know. And the more I think about it, the more I start to realize that "I don't know" is perhaps the best possible response. I really hate that, but maybe that's what Christianity is all about: not knowing anything except the love of Christ, and translating that into love for others. Maybe that is indeed the basis of faith and trust - admitting that all of one's beliefs and passions and emotions and convictions are dust in the Presence of the Holy.
Or maybe I'm completely off base and missing something important. I don't know.
# posted by Andrew Johnson : 4/25/2007 01:41:00 AM 
