Wednesday, January 23, 2008
Eh-Nice!
Yesterday, I was feeling kinda depressed about the whole Heath Ledger thing. Then I heard my Netflix movies and a package had arrived for me at my old mailbox, so I went and picked them. I came back, set down the movies, and opened the package to reveal...
...the best belated Christmas/birthday present I have ever received. It is a gift that is thoughtful, beautiful and possibly life-changing. My depression was instantly replaced by sheer, unadulterated joy. It is the gift to end all gifts.
That's right. I got a Borat mankini.
Same color, same everything. It is wonderful. It was given to me by someone who shall remain anonymous. Anonymous, you rule. I can now cross "wear a thong" off my List Of Things To Do Before I Die. Here is the new, updated list:
1) Acupuncture (completed)
2) Discover what it's like to wear a thong (completed)
3) Go to China (completed)
4) Go skydiving (completed)
5) Go bungee jumping
6) The running of the bulls
7) Adapt something by Jeffrey Ford into a screenplay
8) Write a book
9) Make a movie
The verdict on the mankini: it is strangely comfortable. Sitting down is fine, providing you can get your, uh, "package", into the little pouch. Standing up, I alternated between thinking, "This actually feels kinda good" and "This is like having a really bad wedgie." It takes some getting used to. But overall, it's eh-NICE!
And yes, if enough people ask me to, I will post pictures of me wearing it. I am not ashamed of the mankini!
...the best belated Christmas/birthday present I have ever received. It is a gift that is thoughtful, beautiful and possibly life-changing. My depression was instantly replaced by sheer, unadulterated joy. It is the gift to end all gifts.
That's right. I got a Borat mankini.
Same color, same everything. It is wonderful. It was given to me by someone who shall remain anonymous. Anonymous, you rule. I can now cross "wear a thong" off my List Of Things To Do Before I Die. Here is the new, updated list:
1) Acupuncture (completed)
2) Discover what it's like to wear a thong (completed)
3) Go to China (completed)
4) Go skydiving (completed)
5) Go bungee jumping
6) The running of the bulls
7) Adapt something by Jeffrey Ford into a screenplay
8) Write a book
9) Make a movie
The verdict on the mankini: it is strangely comfortable. Sitting down is fine, providing you can get your, uh, "package", into the little pouch. Standing up, I alternated between thinking, "This actually feels kinda good" and "This is like having a really bad wedgie." It takes some getting used to. But overall, it's eh-NICE!
And yes, if enough people ask me to, I will post pictures of me wearing it. I am not ashamed of the mankini!
# posted by Andrew Johnson : 1/23/2008 08:15:00 PM 
