Ramblings of a Constipated Mind

It has been 6 years since I first launched this blog on January 1, 2004.

I am hereby officially retiring it. The past semester was extremely busy, and now that I've graduated it doesn't look like I'll have much time (or the desire) to post long, reflective posts about what's going on in my life. I'll be working full-time, researching grad school options, maintaining a new website and several podcasts, and of course, watching lots of movies.

To those of you who have been following my life, thank you. It's good to know there are people out there who care about little ol' me.

If you'd like to stay updated on what's going on in my life, you can find me on Facebook at www.facebook.com/WriterAndrew. Or on Twitter at www.twitter.com/WriterAndrew.

Of course, you can still listen to me every week on MovieChatter. And, while it seems we only get an episode out once every few months, I'm still continuing to discuss religious and cultural issues with Kyle on Good God/No God.

Also, now that I intend to pursue some sort of career in film studies (most likely teaching), I'd like to start focusing more on the art of film criticism. As such, while this blog is being shut down, another is rising from the ashes. The Kuleshov Effect will be a blog dedicated entirely to my detailed ruminations on the interaction between film and culture. It launches today. A new blog for a new era of the journey that is my life.

And if all that still isn't enough info for you about my life, you could always, you know, shoot me an email.

And so, on that note, I bid you all farewell. As Douglas Adams put it: So long, and thanks for all the fish.

Been thinking a lot about how the media creates popular (mis)conceptions about important issues, since that's what we're currently discussing in one of my sociology classes. Two days ago, Jon Stewart illustrated this point very well. This is what he's best at!

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
CNN Leaves It There
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Ron Paul Interview

Talking Capitalism: A Love Story.

The full trailer for the latest Michael Moore documentary (and potentially his last), Capitalism: A Love Story, has finally been released.



I've been looking forward to this film for a variety of reasons. Not only do I happen to like the majority of Moore's films (particularly Bowling For Columbine and Roger & Me), but this one focuses on the common theme that runs through all of his work: capitalism.

Now, I'll be the first to admit that Moore's tactics are a bit sensationalistic (how else is one to get mainstream America's attention except through showmanship?) and he clearly is trying to promote an agenda through his films (though technically this is true of all documentaries and filmmaking in general). And yes, there is something hypocritical about a guy who's probably worth quite a bit of money trying to present himself as an Everyman. At the very least, however, I think it's clear that his heart is in the right place. Plus, I usually agree with most of his opinions. Not to mention he has a sense of humor.

To quote Moore:

"It's a crime story. But it's also a war story about class warfare. And a vampire movie, with the upper 1 percent feeding off the rest of us. And, of course, it's also a love story. Only it's about an abusive relationship... It's not about an individual, like [former GM CEO] Roger Smith, or a corporation, or even an issue, like health care. This is the big enchilada. This is about the thing that dominates all our lives — the economy. I made this movie as if it was going to be the last movie I was allowed to make."

I've personally heard Moore state that he views capitalism as an evil system. I'm hoping that this is the film in which he finally explores that issue directly. I've discovered that it is virtually impossible to pursue a degree in sociology and not come away with the conclusion that our economic system is extremely broken, and responsible for a great deal of social ills. Racism, sexism, homophobia, classism... an argument could be made that capitalism is the single largest component in reinforcing these forms of inequality.

Unfortunately, that's a point of view that the mainstream media never wants to explore. And why would they? Both FOX and MSNBC are run by people who benefit greatly from the system as it stands now. Regardless of the quality of the film, if Moore succeeds in getting mainstream theaters to show a film with an anti-capitalist stance, and persuades mainstream audiences to go see it... that in itself is a victory.

If I hear one more person at Blue Ridge complain loudly about how expensive concessions are, I'm going to lose it. If you are one of those people, here's some information that might interest you:

1) When most films are first released, the studios take roughly 80-90% of the money made off ticket sales. This gradually drops to 50-60% after a week or two, and over time declines until the theater is actually making a decent chunk of the profit (though usually by this time, most people that want to see a film have already seen it). You know how you had to pay $8-10 to see G.I. Joe opening weekend? It's because if ticket prices weren't that high, theaters wouldn't be able to make a profit and stay in business.

2) This is also the main reason concession prices at movie theaters are outrageously high. If theaters want to stay in business, they have to somehow make enough money to offset the costs (including giving the studios their percentage), the only option is to jack up prices. Either that, or spend even more time before the movie showing pointless advertisements and commercials.

3) By the time a film arrives at a second-run theater like Blue Ridge, the theaters are (thankfully) getting to keep most of the ticket sales. Unfortunately, since tickets are $1-2, this isn't much money. So again, if we want to stay in business, the only real option is to charge $4 for a small popcorn.

4) As a few very intelligent and observant customers of mine have noted, the prices at Blue Ridge are still cheaper than the other big chains. Instead of paying $13 for a large popcorn and a large drink, you'll only have to pay $9.50. What a steal!

Now you know. So next time you go to the movies and have to spend an enormous amount of money, don't blame them. Blame the studios for spending so many millions of dollars on a film that they have to take a huge portion of theater profits if they want to be able to make a profit. Poor film financing decisions affect everyone.

***

A week or two ago at the Galaxy, I was approached by a tall, middle-aged, dark-skinned man. Once we had served him his popcorn, he began to chat with us about movie recommendations, and it became clear that this guy was either:

1) a film professor
2) a huge film buff

In other words, it made sense that he was going to the Galaxy.

"Have any of you seen Bertolucci's 1900?" he asked.

My fellow concessions attendees and I could only shake our heads. But since I'm always on the lookout for good movies, I didn't just pretend to be interested. I genuinely was.

"No, is it any good?"

"It's a true work of art!" he exclaimed. "You really have to see it! Promise me you'll rent it, and then next time I'm here we can discuss it."

"I'll add it to the top of my Netflix queue today."

"Great!"

He then left us a considerable tip. So I did go home and add it to my Netflix queue, not bothering to read anything about it other than that it's an Italian film from the 70s and Robert DeNiro is in it.

It arrived in the mail yesterday.

It is 8 hours long.

What have I gotten myself into?

Don't worry, I'm still here.

My trip to China went very well. I'm in the processing of uploading pictures to Facebook, and if you check my profile you can probably find a few from other people already up there. I'll try and post some more detailed thoughts about the trip when I have time.

I've been back around a month, and in that time have managed to find 2 jobs, both at movie theaters. Hooray! Employment! I'm working concessions at both. One's the local $1.50 theater and the other one is the Galaxy, which is my favorite cinema in the area. It's the one that serves cookies and tea and coffee and beer and wine and biscotti and shows cool foreign and independent films. I intend to take full advantage of my employee benefits!

Other than that, not much is going on. Still watching lots of movies, and still podcasting regularly. Morgan and I have posted around 8 episodes of MovieChatter, and Kyle and I recently finished recording the latest episode of GG/NG. And speaking of Kyle, his surgery in Indiana went well, and he is now cancer-free! Thanks to everyone who expressed their best wishes and prayers.

Now it's time for sleep, then work, then Funny People with friends!

Please pray for my atheist co-host on Good God/No God, Kyle Burke.

He was diagnosed with testicular cancer a few days ago. He is 22.

After noticing some rapid swelling while on vacation, he went to the hospital, whereupon he was almost immediately given an inguinal orchietomy. The doctors have confirmed that it's definitely cancer, though they're waiting on the results of his CT scan to figure out what type and how to treat it. It looks like it might be a kind of cancer that doesn't need radiation, though they're still unsure at the moment. Chemo or further surgery will most likely be required.

Luckily, testicular cancer is the most easily treatable type of cancer, providing it doesn't spread any further.

I've been waiting to tell people until more details become available, but I can't hold it in any longer. I'm sure he will appreciate your prayers, despite the fact that he doesn't believe in God and feels it's a useless activity.

This is Deckard.


He is a 4-year-old ball python, about two-and-a-half feet long.


He is my new friend.


He likes to curl up and go to sleep around my body.



More photos available on Facebook.

So, after 2 weeks of extreme stress, another weekend has arrived. This weekend is still going to be a bit stressful. But at least the end is in sight.

I went to Best Buy today and found that In Treatment has been released on DVD. Not only that, but the price tag said $19.99. I thought to myself, "A new HBO show that I want to see? For $20? Better take it while I have the chance."

So I brought it up to the counter and it rang up as $54.99. They called the manager over and he approved the discount since it was their labeling error. So, factoring tax, I got an awesome show on DVD for about $40 cheaper than the retail price. Booyah.

The main reason I bring this up is because it was a nice end to a pretty bad week. Not to mention the show is about a therapist. Some days I think I could use one.

Waiting for class to start, feeling overwhelmed by everything that must be accomplished this weekend and next week, along with Full Frame.

I am overloaded. Which begs the question: how much of this my fault due to poor time management, and how much is outside my control due simply to being committed to too much stuff?

Here is the paradox of the Protestant and capitalist work ethic: I'm supposed to work hard in order to be productive (and therefore be worthy of a paycheck). However, the harder I work, and the more commitments I take on, the increased likelihood of burnout. The increased likelihood of burnout, the more likely I am to want to stop working and rest, despite the amount of work I need to get done.

Therefore: An increase in hard work will eventually lead to a decrease in the desire to do that work. This in turn leads to stress since the individual is required to work when he/she doesn't want to, and may not have the time to do so.

Is some of this my own fault? Certainly. It can always be argued that instead of throwing that Singles Awareness Day party, or sleeping that extra hour, I should have been at my desk working tirelessly on all my various commitments. And yet, at the same time, a lack of a social life and at least a few moments of relaxation can lead to emotional/spiritual sapping that in turn affects both an individual's psychology and quality of work.

So, in effect, in order to produce the highest caliber of work, an individual must be allowed free time aside from that work. The problem arises when calculating a balance. No amount of pre-planning can fully account for unexpected delays and additional commitments. If I schedule myself 2 hours a day of free time, in all likelihood this will turn out to be less once transportation, meals, unexpected additions in workload, etc. make themselves known. The entire balancing act is under continuous threat of becoming unhinged, no matter how much planning (or lack thereof) is done beforehand.

I suppose at this point, all I can do is stop worrying about how I got into this situation and start figuring out how to get out of it. The problem is, again, negotiating the balance. I could binge on caffeine pills and stay up for 96+ hours straight this weekend, which would allow me time to achieve everything that I need to get done by the end of next week. Of course, by pushing my body that far, I run the risk of harming not only my physical well-being by the quality of work I'm churning out.

So, in effect, it seems no matter what I do, I'm essentially screwed. 21 hours of classes, 2 jobs, 3 podcasts, and 1 trip to China are too many tasks to deal with all at once.

Or are they? Perhaps I'm just a lazy bum.

At this point, it's impossible to say.

Christine just called me from Germany.

She's pregnant.

As I've been saying for ages: this is going to be the best movie of 2009.

The teaser trailer has finally been released, and I feel high as a kite. It's like being a kid again. November can't come soon enough.

Because he's one of the few good, honest journalists left. Even though he hosts a comedy show, he isn't afraid to ask the tough questions and call out his guests on their screw-ups.

For those of you who live overseas or don't keep up with the news, last week Stewart had "Mad Money" host Jim Cramer on The Daily Show and completely called him out on his mistakes leading up to the economic crisis. The Daily Show's main strength is its ability to critique and call out the mainstream media. Usually it's done with a satirical tone, but times like this, it gets serious. You know, it says a lot about the state of the media when a comedian is one of the few people trying to wade through all the political spin. Here's the full unedited interview with Cramer:

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	M - Th 11p / 10c
Jim Cramer Unedited Interview Pt. 1
comedycentral.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Important Things w/ Demetri Martin Political Humor

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	M - Th 11p / 10c
Jim Cramer Unedited Interview Pt. 2
comedycentral.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Important Things w/ Demetri Martin Political Humor

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	M - Th 11p / 10c
Jim Cramer Unedited Interview Pt. 3
comedycentral.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Important Things w/ Demetri Martin Political Humor

Also, for those interested, here is Stewart's appearance on CNN's Crossfire a few years ago. A mere 3 months later, the show was cancelled. Coincidence? I think not...

Hall & Oates just isn't appropriate.

The 2-hour series finale of Battlestar Galactica airs tonight.

I will probably be hanging out with Christine, since she leaves tomorrow, and miss it.

Seriously. If women only knew the power they have over us...

Don't think I mentioned this. Last Friday, I spent around 6-7 hours in Schenk Forest, which is owned by NCSU and used to teach forestry students. It was raining. It was cold. It was muddy.

Why did I do this? For the love of filmmaking, of course!

Evidently, the ROTC officers at NCSU want to spice up their website by including some sort of marketing/promotional video. Or something like that. I'm still not sure exactly what they're going to do - they basically said they would take whatever was made. A good of mine, Will Lamb, who some of you might remember from Lemon Meringue Pie (the tall guy), personally requested me as a cameraman for the job. He's in ROTC, so he knew he probably wouldn't be able to film stuff himself, and he had worked with me before on LMP and the Dark Knight promo we did a few months ago.

So I rented an XL1 from the film department and dragged it out into the woods, hoping and praying that the rain wouldn't cause it to short circuit and break.

I spent the entire time at the same general location, watching squad after squad train in one specific scenario: a bunker assault. I was located on a hill with a "bunker" and three "enemy soldiers." Their job was to figure out how to quickly and efficiently kill/capture the enemy and search the location for intel. Everyone was armed with paintball guns, and one guy had a fake grenade. All in all, it was a cool exercise, and I only got shot at once.

I got about 3.5 full runs through the exercise on tape. Unfortunately, as I had just used the camera a few weeks prior when acting in that "Office" spoof (which is nearly finished), and wasn't using any external equipment, I forgot to check the sound quality. Turns out, someone had switched the audio input to "external mic" and forgotten to switch it back! As a result, there was no audio. Not cool.

Sound problems aside, Will was able to use the footage (as well as some he shot himself later in the day with a small handycam) to put together a small "teaser" for what will hopefully become a larger project. Will is probably the most talented editor I know personally; he knows the right filters and effects to use to add that extra touch of professionalism. I hope to work with him some more in the future.

Anyways, here's the teaser he edited together using some of the footage. It's hard for me to tell which of the footage is stuff I shot and which was his. But basically: if it's shot from behind people, following them, it's probably him. If it's from the side or the front, it's probably me. I do know that I got the grenade shot and some of the guns being fired and the captured enemy stuff at the end, as well as most of the stuff at the beginning of people walking/standing around.

Just look at this.

And kill him simultaneously.

Just got back from the midnight showing of Watchmen. All I will say is this: I spent the first half of the film (mostly) thinking: "Holy crap. The freakin' 300 guy has done it! He's pulled it off! He's filmed the unfilmable!"

About mid-way through the film, though, things start to slip from his fingers, and he never fully gets it back. The movie ultimately left a sour taste in my mouth. This might be just because I've read the graphic novel - the people I went with who weren't familiar with the source material seemed to enjoy it, overall. It made them want to read the book, so I guess that's a plus.

Erik and I came back and recorded a short, 15-minute review of the film that should be online in a few hours. This weekend we'll be having a much longer, more in-depth discussion of it, which I'm sure will be very, uh... inspired.

It's 4 AM, and I'm off to bed. Gotta get up in four hours to film a promotional video for the Films Committee.

This feels like a completely new experience. I don't have any papers or projects hanging over my head. I can sleep in. I can make my own schedule.

Is there anybody out there who will pay me to sit on my butt and watch movies all day? Because I'll totally do it. Just pay me enough to make ends meet, and I'll gladly do nothing but watch hour after hour of movies, no matter how idiotic or in poor taste they may be. I will then happily write a novella offering a detailed critique of each and every one.

***

Haven't been doing much except catching up on television shows, hanging out with Christine (my new ladyfriend for those of you not in the loop), and working a bit on the director's cut of The (Hide And) Seeker. My brief thoughts on what I've been watching:

Synecdoche, New York - The directorial debut of my favorite screenwriter, Charlie Kaufman, who's responsible for some of the most layered and multi-faceted scripts of the past 10 years, including Being John Malkovich, Adaptation and Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. The one thing you can expect going into a Kaufman-scribed film is that, no matter the plot, it's going to somehow touch on such timeless themes as the nature of the self, the meaning of life, and the relationship between the artist and his/her subjects. This movie is no different. The reviews I'd read made it seem like this would be an incoherent mess of a film whose only purpose was to turn the viewer's brain into a lump of quivering goo by the end. I'm happy to report that that's not the case. From a storytelling perspective, it does have a linear plot. From a thematic perspective, though... that's where things get tricky. It's definitely the kind of movie that takes multiple viewings to completely digest. There's a lot of interesting stuff going on, and I found it to be a fascinating portrait of what it means to be an artist - how art is ultimately a reflection of the deepest corners of the self, and how each and every person has innumerable threads of influence on everyone else. It's about how existence itself is one giant tapestry of interlocking experiences, and how we're all bound together by a common obstacle: death. Artists are people who through their creation become gods, and even then they're still limited by their own mortality. If you're the kind of person who likes to sit and philosophize about such things, then check out this film, you'll probably enjoy it. I can't really say it's a good film, and I can't really say it's a bad film. It is what it is. It's Charlie Kaufman The Artist musing about what it means to be Charlie Kaufman The Artist and Charlie Kaufman The Person. I hope he directs more in the future.

As a side note: one of this entry's Quotes of Da Moment is a monologue from the film that I found to be very memorable and thought-provoking. Are the last two sentences (not including the "Amen") not about what it essentially means to be a writer, and all the egotism inherently involved in any artistic endeavor?

Dollhouse - We're three episodes in, and so far the new show from Joss Whedon (Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Firefly, Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog) is pretty good. It's not the greatest thing on television, but it's definitely not the worst, and each episode so far has been better than the one before it. It's basically about a young woman named Echo who's an agent for the "Dollhouse" - a secret organization that specializes in personality manipulation. Echo is, essentially, the human version of a blank slate. A client requests the Dollhouse's services (which could be anything, from hostage negotiation to assassin to high-class hooker) and Ecco is implanted with the necessary memories and personality traits to complete the mission. It's like how in The Matrix people could learn any skill in a few seconds just by having it "programmed" in, except in this show it's their entire personality. It also stars Tahmoh Penikett, who plays Helo on Battlestar Galactica, which is cool. Anyways, I'd recommend it if you're looking for something to watch on Fridays at 9. Hopefully FOX will give it a chance and won't cancel it like they did with Firefly.

NOTE: All 3 episodes of Dollhouse can be viewed for free at Hulu, starting with this one right here.

Battlestar Galactica - The second half of Season 4 has been pretty damn good. There are only three episodes left before the series ends... I'm kinda sad. I'm also a bit concerned, because there's still a lot of questions that haven't even begun to get answered. However, I've heard the series finale is going to be 2 hours long, so I trust the producers know what they're doing.

The Office - Still funny, though there hasn't been a lot of character development this season.

30 Rock - Probably the smartest sitcom on television since Arrested Development. Watch it.

Flight of the Conchords - So far this season has been a tad disappointing, but it has enough hits over misses that I'll keep watching.

Heroes - Blegh. I'm not sure if this is technically Season 4 or the second half of Season 3, but either way, this show is consistently mediocre. After a fantastic first season and a terrible second one, it is now plodding along at a level I would deem "Meh." It's alright, but definitely nothing special.

Still wondering when we can expect to see new seasons of Dexter and It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. Once BSG finishes, those will probably become my new "favorite shows."

***

If only animal cruelty was always this hilarious:



***

Spring Break Brainteaser of Da Moment:

If you cloned yourself and had sex with your clone, would that be incest, masturbation, or neither?

Yes. That's the kind of thing I dedicate a considerable amount of brainpower to pondering. Right now I'm thinking that meets the definition of incest.

***

The remainder of this post is going to be Watchmen-focused.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again: Watchmen is one of the greatest works of fiction ever written. Period. If you haven't read it, you should. It doesn't matter if you're not a "comic book" or "graphic novel" person - I don't read graphic novels, but I've read Watchmen multiple times. It's just that good.

I'm going a midnight screening of the movie this Thursday. I am simultaneously very excited and very cynical. Although the source material is some of the richest I've ever read, I doubt Zack Snyder's ability as a director to transfer that to film. I'm very concerned that people who haven't read the novel might see the film, not "get it," and then dismiss it. But I want Watchmen to get more love, so I would encourage all the people reading this to go see the movie this weekend. Just do it. If you like the movie, read the novel. If you hate the movie, read the novel. Just get out and support Alan Moore's masterpiece in any way, shape or form you can.

In fact, I want you all to go see Watchmen so badly, that I'm going to go ahead and do some of the legwork and explain the basics of what it's about. You won't have the experience I did, of starting the graphic novel with absolutely no idea what I was about to experience, but maybe it will help you figure out whether or not Watchmen is something you'll like. At the very least, you'll know a little something if you check out the movie and it turns out to not do a very good job of explaining things.

Here's the deal: Watchmen is a subversion of the typical superhero story, and asks things like: What if people really did dress up and fight crime? What kind of person would do such a thing? What would their motivation be? What would their moral compass consist of? And what if there really was a superhuman, with superpowers? How would that change the course of history? How would that affect human beings' perception of themselves? How would that change politics? What happens when gods live among men?

Watchmen is set in the 1980s in an alternate history. In the 20s and 30s, a group of "costumed heroes" - normal people who dress up and fight crime - known as the Minutemen existed and fought for justice. Nowadays, it's illegal to do so. During the Cold War, a scientific accident led to the creation of Dr. Manhattan, a glowing blue guy who is essentially omnipotent and omniscient. To borrow a rather chilling line from the novel: "God exists, and he's American." Dr. Manhattan worked for the U.S. government and was the key factor that led to the United States' victory in the Vietnam War. Things went so well during the war, in fact, that Nixon has been re-elected president for more than two terms. Watchmen opens with the murder of a former costumed hero named The Comedian. Other former costumed heroes decide to investigate, and this sets events into motion which will impact the entire human race...

Got it? Good. If not, it doesn't matter. Read the book/see the movie anyway. It's a fascinating story that delves into such themes as:

1) Justice - Does the end justify the means?
2) Power and Authority - Who watches the Watchmen?
3) Human Nature - Is it possible to "save" humanity from itself? Are we worth saving?
4) Omniscience - Does this negate free will? Can the course of history be altered?
5) Technology - Does scientific advancement ultimately only lead to suffering?

Though I don't think the movie has a chance of living up the novel (Snyder just isn't that talented of a director), the marketing for this film has been excellent. The two trailers do a great job of communicating the overall look and feel of the movie without going into too many details about the plot, which is good considering the plot is too layered to be properly explained in 2 minutes anyway.

Below you'll find a video primer on the story and characters of Watchmen, followed by the two trailers for the film. Note the choice of music: "The Beginning Is The End Is The Beginning" by The Smashing Pumpkins and "Take A Bow" by Muse. The lyrics of both songs touch on a lot of Watchmen's primary themes.


A primer on Watchmen.


The first trailer.


The second trailer.

In case you haven't figured it out yet, what I'm trying to say is: Go to the movies and see Watchmen this weekend. And at the very least read the book. It's not your typical happy-go-luck, good-vs-evil superhero story, and who knows, maybe we could all learn something from it.

Quotes of Da Moment:
"We gaze continually at the world and it grows dull in our perceptions. Yet seen from the another's vantage point, as if new, it may still take our breath away. Come...dry your eyes. For you are life, rarer than a quark and unpredictable beyond the dreams of Heisenberg; the clay in which the forces that shape all things leave their fingerprints most clearly."
--Watchmen

"If I write a crappy comic book, it doesn't cost the budget of an emergent Third World nation. When you've got these kinds of sums involved in creating another two hours of entertainment for Western teenagers, I feel it crosses the line from being merely distasteful to being wrong."
--Watchmen author Alan Moore, on filmmaking

"Everything is more complicated than you think. You only see a tenth of what is true. There are a million little strings attached to every choice you make; you can destroy your life every time you choose. But maybe you won't know for twenty years. And you'll never ever trace it to its source. And you only get one chance to play it out. Just try and figure out your own divorce. And they say there is no fate, but there is: it's what you create. Even though the world goes on for eons and eons, you are here for a fraction of a fraction of a second. Most of your time is spent being dead or not yet born. But while alive, you wait in vain, wasting years, for a phone call or a letter or a look from someone or something to make it all right. And it never comes or it seems to but doesn't really. And so you spend your time in vague regret or vaguer hope for something good to come along. Something to make you feel connected, to make you feel whole, to make you feel loved. And the truth is I'm so angry and the truth is I'm so fucking sad, and the truth is I've been so fucking hurt for so fucking long and for just as long have been pretending I'm OK, just to get along, just for, I don't know why, maybe because no one wants to hear about my misery, because they have their own, and their own is too overwhelming to allow them to listen to or care about mine. Well, fuck everybody. Amen."
--Synecdoche, New York

And I can really relate to this song right now. Plus, I totally played Andy in an office parody video this week. So this seems relevant.