Ramblings of a Constipated Mind

I posted this before, but Blogger messed up and the post seems to have vanished. Trying this again...

Da Pointless Link of Da Moment: This just isn't as good as the real thing. It's a nice try, though.

Andrew's Super-Duper Prestigious, Incredible, Amazing, Magnificent, Astounding, And Overall Just Plain Awesome Award That He Only Rarely Gives Out At Times Like Right Now, And That If You Receive Makes You A Really Cool Person: Goes to Karen Chang for this blog post. This is quite possibly the most awesome and random post I have ever seen. Hurry and see it before she updates! I'm jealous.

I hereby declare the word "kandom" an official part of the English language. At least in my book.

*runs naked through the streets singing "Livin' La Vida Loca", complete with dance moves *

Da Quote of Da Moment:
"Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you."
- C. G. Jung (1875-1961)

Today marked my last first session of CAS. Yay! I need to find out how many hours (out of 70) I've completed on my own, so I can finish...

On the way to Hospital Bloom, where we do our community service, we stopped by Miguel Chang's restaurant (he's a classmate of mine, for all of you non-Andrew Johnsons that live in El Salvador). He called ahead, so free food was already waiting for us when we arrived. I had been waiting to try out his restaurant...and I wasn't disappointed. There were all these plates of chicken, rice, noodles, etc. One thing I did notice was that it wasn't as "chinesey" as I expected. There weren't as many sauces, and the overall flavor just didn't have that Chinese taste I'm used to. It was kind of like "Chinese food in an El Salvador style". Overall, very tasty. Yummy. And now this is the part where I present...

Da Man of Da Week: Mr. Chang!

*applause*

I don't know his first name.

He was the cashier at the restaurant, and he waited on us hand and foot to make sure me and my classmates were satisfied. He brought us drinks, then rolls, then more food...and more food...it got to the point where I thought he was being a little too nice. When we were finished he brought out this huuuuuuuge fruit and cut it up for us to eat. I didn't catch the name, but I think it was grapefruit. If it was, it was the biggest and strangest looking grapefruit I've ever seen. I'm guessing it weighed at least 10-20 pounds. I wanted to introduce myself and tell him how great everything was, but we were in a hurry so all I got to do was shake his hand on the way out. Maybe next time.

As one of my classmates put it: "El es super buena onda!" In other words, he's a really cool and nice guy. Which is why he deserves this prestigious (right) award.

Da Quote of Da Moment:
"Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are good is like expecting the bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian."
--Dennis Wholey

Let's see...Saturday night I watched The Thin Red Line. I had heard that it was excellent, one of the best war movies ever, so I was feeling optimistic about it. I knew it would be artsy. Unfortunately, I was unprepared for just how artsy it would be. I can usually handle slow-moving movies, but at times this one just dragged on for too long. Sometimes the "artsy stuff" was great, and really added a lot to the feel of the film, but other times - especially near the end - it all just got too repetitive. Jim Cavaziel rules though. I'd say at least half an hour could have been cut off the total running time, and it still would have been very artsy without slowing down the pace of the movie too much. Also, I couldn't figure out what the film was trying to say. There were all these voiceovers where the narrator asks questions about nature, and man, and human nature, and good vs. evil...unfortunately, the movie doesn't take time to attempt to answer those questions. At least not that I could see. By the end, I was thinking, "Overall, a pretty good war movie...but what was the point?" However, I can't end there. I have to mention one incredibly awesome shot: it's on the battlefield, bullets are flying everwhere, you can hear explosions in the distance...the camera focuses on a couple of men running frantically up a hill. And then, out of nowhere, so fast that if you blink you'll miss it...a bright blue butterfly flutters across the shot. Amidst all the chaos, something beautiful can still be seen. Genius.

Good movie, but not one I'll probably be seeing again any time soon. Definitely not on par with Saving Private Ryan, or my personal favorite war movie, Platoon.

Went to church Sunday. Relaxed. Now it's Monday. I hate Mondays. They are the worst day of the week, followed by: Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Sunday, Saturday. Mankind made a big mistake by creating Mondays. Though I guess if they didn't exist, I would hate Tuesdays.

Life is tough. School is hard and boring, and overall sometimes my head just feels cramped. Like there's no space to breathe. Thankfully I have friends to cheer me up. Without you, I'd have nothing to do but sit and wallow in despair. And that's rather boring in and of itself.

It's big blank space time!











































































Don't you just love staring at nothing?

Always remember: you're unique. Just like everyone else.

Da Quote of Da Moment:
"If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is ‘God is crying’. And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is ‘Probably because of something you did’."
- Jack Handey, Deep Thoughts

A superhero.

So I can save the world, get the girl, and have a lunchbox with my picture on it.

Dream Super-Power of Da Moment: The ability to open a jar of peanut butter with my eyes, and create steaming hot plates of Mexican and Chinese food from thin air.

Quote of Da Moment:
"I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman."
--Homer Simpson

It's over!
It's over!
Sing with me!
It's over!
It's over!
Shout with me!
It's over!
It's over!
Dance with me!

Woohoo! My last first full week of school is over! Finally!

It feels like it's been months since I last had a day off. Part of me wants to sleep for the next 2 days. Another part (the one I pay more attention to), just wants to get out of the house and breathe. I want to party. Or go to a movie. Or basically do anything that doesn't involve school, stress, family, or anything familiar. My brain feels squished. It needs space.

Hm. Just watched a cool Coen Brothers film...Miller's Crossing. Some have claimed it's better than The Godfather in terms of gangster movies. Is it? No. But I thought it was pretty good. Things start out kinda slow, but the Coens don't give you all the information right away...soon I was really intrigued as to how far into a mess this guy was going to get himself into, and whether or not he would be able to get himself out. Then, slowly, the pieces started to fall into place. Good stuff. If you're into lots of action, though, this isn't for you. Perhaps the best thing about this film is the photography. Barry Sonnenfeld = brilliant. I felt like I had gone back in time. Everything's present, from the war between gangs to the corrupt cops to the rigged gambling...the filmmakers did their research. The entire style feels like an old-fashioned 50s or 60s mystery film (some shots reminded me of Hitchcock). Even the colors feel perfect. Did this really come out in the 80s? Overall, a good movie and on par with their others - though it's not nearly as good as Raising Arizona, which is probably my favorite of their films that I've seen. Then again, it's the Coen Brother, so what would you expect? After all, this was made during their pre-Intolerable Cruelty days. *shudders at the memory*

Hm. Started reading another story in Dubliners. I'm starting to understand what James Joyce's wife said to him: "Why don’t you write books people can read?"

It's political rant time! I can't remember blogging about politics before and I don't intend to make it a habit, but I saw something on the news that ticked me off. It had to do with terrorism, and September 11, and how they're cracking down on it so there aren't any more attacks, and how if we're not careful the "terror level" or whatever it's called might be raised.

I couldn't help but think: "Oh noooooo! Not the terrorists!" And mentally rolling my eyes.

Michael Moore's an interesting guy, and most of the time I probably wouldn't agree with him, but on this point I do. The government needs to stop terrorizing the population with statements like, "Oh there's a high possibility of an attack, but don't worry we can handle it." And the population needs to stop paying attention. In my opinion, it's all a bunch of crap. They're just doing this so we think, "Oh, thank God, President Bush is keeping us safe from evil terrorists! Let's vote for him!" Never mind the fact that we're at war.

Side note: I'm not a Democrat. I'm not anti-Bush. I'm not sure what I think about the war in Iraq (I used to think it was called for, but now I'm not so sure). I just think the government needs to stop brainwashing the public. That's all.

There are a couple of things people need to realize:

1. September 11 is over. Now, I don't mean any disrespect to the people affected by the tragedy, since it was horrible, but...it's been three years. Get over it and move on. Why is it still mentioned in the news practically every day?

2. Terrorists attacks happen. They happened before September 11, and they'll happen after September 11. Why is it now such a big deal? Because they chose to pick on the USA? How come the "war on terror" didn't start until after it directly affected us?

3. You're not going to be killed by a suicidal Muslim. Or any other terrorist, for that matter. The odds of that happening are astronomical. It's really quite simple. If somebody really wants to attack us, and they've got the means, then they most likely will, no matter how high the security level is. We didn't stop 9/11 and we're probably not going to be able to stop every future atttempt. And newsflash: worrying about it isn't going to stop it. The chances of you being a victim though, are slim.

People need to move on. Live their lives. Stop looking over their shoulder because they're afraid some wacko is going to fly a plane into the building next to them. I honestly think there is no reason to keep publicizing it other than to keep the population under control. A scared population is one that will support its leader, no matter who it is.

Okay fine. So maybe I am feeling Democratic today. Though I honestly don't think I would vote for Kerry. That is, if I could vote.

End of rant.

Quote of Da Moment:
"In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and is widely regarded as a bad move."
--Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

That title has a double meaning. Only one of you will understand. Bwahahaha...I feel evil.

And no, I won't tell the rest of you the other thing I'm referring to.

It's been nearly 8 months of blogging for me. And if my calculations are correct...that means I've posted, on average, once every 3.4 days. That is simply unacceptable. Shame on me! It should be somewhere around 1-2. I've gotten better these past months, I think. Hopefully I'll be posting steadily until the rest of the year, even if it's just a sentence or two.

Hm, something interesting happened today. I woke up and couldn't find my tie. Then one of the voices in my head said to me: "You left it hanging on the hook in the changing room, you doofus." To which I mentally replied: "Holy crap, you're right! I'm gonna die Mr. Morgan me va a matar holy shiznit whatamIgonnado...BRAIN. OVERLOAD." I got to school, and managed not to get asked by a teacher where my tie was (though if I got a dollar every time a classmate asked I'd be pretty wealthy). I checked the changing room. Not there. Soooo that meant it was off to the school shop to buy another one. Yay. At least this one isn't stained. I was putting in on as I walked to home room (which is kinda hard, but the ability to multi-task is the key to surviving high school), and thought I had actually made it. But then who should come strolling around the corner but the head of the science department, Mr. Gifford.

"You shouldn't be doing that now."
"I know."

And then who should follow him but Mr. Hobson. As in, the head of the entire school. More powerful than even Mr. Johnson. The Big Cheese. The Tribal Chief. The Big Kahuna. The Mega-Boss. He Who Controls All of What Happens at School. He Who Must Not Be Angered...

Yeah. That guy.

"Andrew, someone with the name Johnson really needs to be careful, or he'll reflect badly on someone else."
"mumble mumble...Okay."

So I turned the corner and there was Mr. Gifford again. He had been watching my little run-in with Mr. Hobson.

"Andrew, I thought you knew that you were supposed to get dressed at your house, not here at school."
"I know. Sorry."

Thankfully both of them were in a hurry, or I would have been forced to have a long conversation about it. Things could have been worse. It could have been Mr. You'd-Better-Obey-The-Rules-Or-It-Reflets-Badly-On-The-School-And-Therefore-On-Me Morgan.

What a wonderful, stress-free way to begin the day. School actually wasn't half bad today, though. Except my computer here at home for some reason won't compile what I program in C++. Which means I can't test to see if I'm doing it right. Bummer. One pretty good thing that happened was that I didn't have to go to CAS. Since not many people want to keep going to Hospital Bloom, the ones that do will go with 11th grade on Monday. Yay! I get a few more days of freedom from community service.

This might possibly end up being the best movie of the year. Or the past few years, from what I've heard. It's been released everywhere around the world except the USA, and it finally gets there tomorrow. This is the kind of movie worth United States ticket prices. Not many movies can make me say that...and I haven't even seen this one yet. Enjoy.

Da Woman of Da Week: Natalie Portman for appearing in this movie with the same style of hair she had in The Professional (which is awesome, by the way - from what I've heard, it's best to rent the international version though due to better editing). Do I think this movie will be good? I don't know. It certainly looks like a very serious movie, dealing with stuff like relationships and sex and love, etc. I think it's either going to be amazing or just horrible. Hm. And it looks like Clive Owen is finally becoming a popular leading man. Personally, I think I'll always just see him as "that guy from those awesome BMW short films".

Da Music of Da Moment:
The Grand Finale, from Edward Scissorhands
Composed by Danny Elfman

Da Quote of Da Moment:
"What's with all these awards? They're always giving out awards. Best Fascist Dictator: Adolf Hitler."
--Woody Allen in Annie Hall

It's times like these I wish I could grab the heads of a few people and scream into their ears, "FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS GOOD AND BEAUTIFUL IN THIS WORLD WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU THINKING?!"

I had PE today, which was boring. As expected. Afterwards there was a surprise meeting for the entire senior class (how come we never find out these things until 5 minutes before the end of class?) regarding...the Senior Fashion Show. Dum dum dum!

*scary music*

Every 12th grade class has a fashion show, just like every 11th grade has a Circus. I don't know what on earth happens at the fashion show, because I've never been to one. However, I'm guessing it's like the ones they show on tv...people stroll out wearing funky clothes, walk down the aisle, turn and walk back. Wow. How exciting. This is the part where inside my head I screamed and began to cry. My line of reasoning went something like this: I am stressed. Things will get more stressful as the year continues. Fashion show = more stress. Therefore, to do a fashion show would be the equivalent of committing mental and emotional suicide.

They took a vote. Needless to say, I voted against having it. Unfortunately, my intelligent friends and I were overruled. And shortly afterwards I found out that the "TOK elections" (another activity the senior class has to do) will be taking place this year instead of next year. Wonderful. I'm looking forward to the coming months so much...believe it...

Hm. Maybe I should start practicing my "model walk". I will have to resist the temptation to act like Derek Zoolander on stage...Blue Steel! Magnum! And if you have no idea what I'm talking about, go rent Zoolander starring Ben Stiller! It's not that great, but still good for a few laughs.

I really don't want to do this. Not only because of the stress, but because the world just isn't ready for me in that position. I'm just too appealing and ahead of my time in terms of fashion. I would be booed off the stage, but then after I'm dead labeled as a "visionary". I don't think I want that to be my legacy.

Hm. Came home. Did two and a half hours of Math homework. Fun. End of day.

Quote of Da Moment:
Donnie: Why do you wear that stupid bunny suit?
Frank: Why are you wearing that stupid man suit?
--Donnie Darko

Aaaaallrightey then...

Nothing's happening here on Planet Andrew. I've got work, work, work and I'm stressed, stressed, stressed. Thankfully, so far I've managed to space myself so that I'm not doing too much per day. Otherwise I wouldn't have time to update this thing, and I know none of you would want that...

Tomorrow I've got to hand in a plan for this big essay on World Literature that I have to do. I have to compare one aspect that is present in two texts from another country that we've read. I chose to do mine on how power shifts in House of the Spirits and Chronicle of a Death Foretold indicate the overcoming of societal standards (mainly, prejudice towards women and those of a lower social class). If you think that sounds complex, just wait until I make the official title. It has to sound reeeeeally academic. You know...big words. I've got tons of work to do in Computers...finish a program by Friday and another one by Monday. Yay. Not to mention even more of that wonderful subject that I love. You guessed it. Calculus.

I finished my plan. Thankfully, it's not for a grade.

Whoa. Just watched this long trailer for The Machinist. I don't think it's an official preview since it does have quite a bit of strong language, though. This looks like my kind of movie: just plain weird. Also, Team America has to be rated R due to a contract. Yay. Now I just hope the directors tone it down more than I think they will...

Da Quote of Da Moment:
It is said that the Devil has all the best tunes.
This is broadly true. But, Heaven has the best choreographers.
--Good Omens

Not really. I just thought lots of people might read my post if it had a cool title.

Today began my last first full week of school. Now that I'm a senior, I think I'll just put "last" in front of everything that happens to me. Especially the bad stuff...like tests...or having to go to Math and Spanish class, period. I can just see the possibilities...

"Today I have my last first Math exam."
"Today I present my last first Spanish oral presentation."
"Today I go to high school for the last time on today's date."
"Today I nap through Calculus for the last time on today's date."
"Today I am abducted by aliens for the last...no, wait, first!...time..."

Well, let's see. What happened today?

Oh yeah. It turns out we weren't going to correct the Calculus homework in class. So I stayed in class for most of lunch, trying to figure out the ones I couldn't figure out yesterday. Fun fun fun. I am now convinced that Calculus is the devil incarnate. I mean let's look at the facts:

1. It makes me feel stupid. Satan can do that too.
2. I means I'm wasting my afternoons messing around with figures and graphs. Now you could argue that that keeps me from doing something stupid, but I prefer to view it as an obstacle that keeps me from doing something good. Surely Lucifer gets a kick out of that.
3. It makes me want to burn things down and murder the guy who came up with this stuff. I'm betting Satan really enjoys those negative emotions!

Wow. I think I just concluded that Calculus is sacreligious. I should write a book before someone steals my theory.

Hm. We got a new TOK teacher today. If you don't know what that is, don't worry, he didn't either. He said he just spent 30 minutes trying to figure out what the class was about before the lesson. At this point in the year, that's fine with me...it's not like it's difficult. But once we start writing essays and doing presentations, I hope he has a better idea of what the heck the class is all about. And even though I couldn't really get a sense of what kind of teacher he is, he has a funky name and that brings him up a few points in my book: Mr. Murgatroyd. I'm pretty sure that's how you spell it. Now if only I could find out his first name...though it's probably not as interesting. Dmitri? Rasputin? Weinerschnitzel? Hm. Weinerschnitzel Murgatroyd. It could happen.

My dog has returned from San Miguel! Woohoo! Today we gave her a bath...finally. She was filthy. I think we probably could have grown plants on her. But I guess that happens when you're in San Miguel and the people who usually give you a bath have moved to Nicaragua. So now she's fluffy and happy. Yay!

Well, tonight the Puerta is celebrating its 1-year anniversary. Hip hip hurray! It's time to par-tay! Get jiggy with it! Get the groove on!

*tries to think of more weird slang, but fails*

In other news: I'm pretty sure I'll be able to have Film Society as an extracurricular activity. I've been emailing Mr. Johnson and setting things up. Mr. Lehmann said he'd help me out and be a supervisor. Awesome. He rules.

Speaking of Mr. Johnson, some friends and I started wondering again: what is his middle name? All we know is that his name is Andrew R. Johnson. My name is Andrew Reed Johnson. See why it would be nice to know? If it's even remotely close to "Reed" we're going to freak out. We already have theories about what the explanation would be. See, he could be me. In the future. And there's this whole time loop thing...I'm being taught by myself. After I graduate from college (studying history) I'm going to go live in Britain, where I pick up a British accent. Then, for some strange reason, I'm going to go teach in Colombia. This is where I'll meet my wife. Then we'll go back in time and I'll come to El Salvador, where I'll end up being the headmaster of my old school and teaching history there. And one of my students will be me as a teenager.

*imagines the possibilities*

Now I've got a headache.

Da Word of Da Week: K'niggit. If you don't get it, go watch Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Though be warned: it might take a few years, and someone to explain it to you, before you get it. Like what happened to me today.

Da Quote of Da Moment:
The knack of flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.
--The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Last night I watched Deliverance, which was pretty good. "Dueling Banjos" is an awesome song. Hicks are evil homosexuals, and you should always wear a life jacket.

Hm, let's see. I slept 12 hours, so I woke up in a good mood and with a clear head. Sleep always helps. We picked up this new missionary from the airport...he'll be living in San Miguel. That's all I know. Seemed like a nice guy. I worked on some Calculus homework - dude, that stuff is hard. I always liked math...then I entered high school. I could only do part of the work, because I was sitting there looking at the questions thinking, "Ok...I know what that means, and I know what that means, but how the heck do they relate to each other again?" I know I probably did this kind of problem last year, but I just can't remember it. Hopefully other people are having the same problem and she'll explain it all on Monday.

Film Society will hopefully be an extracurricular activity this year! At least that guarantees people will show up every week. Which means they have to participate in the discussion or I could always lower their grade. Bwahahaha! Now I've got to send this thing to Mr. Johnson explaining what kind of things we'll be doing, rules, etc. And I also need to find an advisor. Hm. Maybe Mr. Lehmaan (or however you spell it) can do it...that'd be cool. I'll send him an e-mail and ask. Plus, I can let him know that I've started reading The Dubliners and I'll probably end up analyzing it for my Extended Essay. He was right. You read Joyce and at first you think, "What is the point of this?" but I'm positive there's more to it. I get the feeling that there's a whole ton of stuff waiting to be analyzed and discussed that I just barely get a glimpse of.

I saw the trailer for Wes Anderson's new movie. I haven't seen Rushmore, but I did see The Royal Tenenbaums and enjoyed it. This one looks like it has a similar style, just because there's so many bright and vivid colors that he uses. It's called The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou and has a bunch of stars in it, including Bill Murray who's always in Anderson's films. I think it'll be pretty good. You can watch it yourself here.

Also, I have heard a sad rumor about the film with the hilarious trailer, Team America: World Police. Appparently, it might (I say might because it hasn't been confirmed yet) be rated NC-17 due to graphic "puppet sex". Now, I know the guys who made it are also responsible for South Park, but I didn't think it would be bad enough to warrant an NC-17 rating. I mean, just how graphic can you get when your entire cast of characters are puppets? Evidently pretty graphic. I hope it isn't so...*sob*

Quote of Da Moment:
Bethany: Sex is a joke in heaven?
Metatron: The way I understand it, it's mostly a joke down here too.
--Dogma

Sucked. Nothing exciting happened. The only good thing that happened what that I'm off the hook for Spanish. Woohoo! See, I knew I didn't have to do the work...other than that, things were boring. Classes consisted mainly of recapping what we had finished off last year, I was ignored by friends, and didn't get to eat lunch because I was trying to find two teachers to talk to them about something. And I never did find them.

Quote of the Moment: "If you want to make God laugh, tell Him your future plans." --Woody Allen

Waking up at 5:30 wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. My backpack is at the tailor's being repaired, so I have to lug around my gym bag full of books for a few days. Fun fun fun.

The official school day began with an assembly, as usual. It turns out that the rising juniors scored even better on their IGCSEs than my class did. NO! Our legacy is over! Oh well...at least we can rest assured knowing we will go down in school history as being the first class where everyone passed. The headmaster (that's the head of the school for those of you who don't speak British) was so enthusiastic about it. He claimed that the staff was "delighted" as the results. That's about as much praise they received. But that's the Brits for ya...always taking things so seriously. After that they introduced a few new teachers, some new students - one of whom is a girl named Alexandra who's in my class - and then we went to our "tutor period". Translation: home room.

We have a new "tutor" this year, since Ms. Forsyth became a Year Head: Mr. Stevens. He shouts a lot, but in a good way. Seems like a nice guy. We did the usual beginning of term stuff: get your locker, fill out your schedule, vote for student council representatives, yadda yadda yadda. It was rather dull. Then we had a 15-minute break, and it was time for Computer Studies. They're building a new Performing Arts center, and the construction did something to screw up the power supply, and we couldn't use the computers. But no matter. The teacher explained what we were going to do for the next few weeks, and the year in general. Boy oh boy...I just can't wait to do all that work and start a huge programming project in October...

Yeah, that was sarcasm.

After that, I went to English. Zzzzzzz. We're going to be studying the poetry of William Blake. Woohoo. Lunch was uneventful. Then I tried to stay awake in Math and remember what the heck differentiation was. I was successful...to some extent. Plus, we're going to have more math projects to do, too! Isn't that great? Thankfully, I don't take the General Studies course (it's required for Salvadoreans), so I got to end the day with a free period. Yay. Then there was a surprise meeting about CAS (the community service I have to do), which was really boring and didn't do me much good. I came home, wrote a few emails, and then it was off to the orthodontist. Blegh. Luckily the appointment was short, and I don't have to see her again for 6 months. That's 6 months too soon...

Overall, the day was very unexciting. However, I did receive a few interesting comments from friends:

Comment: Aaaaayy Andrew! Te ves mas cholo!
Translation: Aaaayyy Andrew! You look more muscular and bulked-up!
What They Really Mean: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyy Andrew! You are the sexiest guy on the school campus!

Comment: Andrew, thanks so much for switching lockers with me! I love you!
What They Really Mean: You are the nicest guy on the face of the earth. I love you!

Have no fear. Both of the people who said those things are girls.

Today I woke up, got a hair cut at 3, and went to the movies at 4:45. I, Robot was a pretty good movie. A few things did stick to my mind: society is "evolving", rights are being taken away, and the focus of the movie is a company named USR. Am I the only one who thought it was deliberately paralleling Communism?

*sigh*

This is the last post of the summer. Tomorrow I have to wake up at 5:30 AM in order to begin my last year of high school. This year is going to suck, I can feel it. Work work work work work. CAS, Extended Essay, Film Society, huge computer projects...I suppose I can forget getting much sleep for a year. But oh well. It's been a great summer.

Best Part of the Summer: I don't know. Too many good things.

Most Disappointing Part of the Summer: It's a tie between not seeing Donnie Darko in theaters, and not being able to meet with friends before tomorrow. At least I'll see them tomorrow...who knows when the Donnie Darko: Director's Cut DVD will be released...

So this is it. No more blog-posting without worrying about school. If I drank, I'd propose a toast.

To the beginning of the end.

*clink*

My room is now a film buff's paradise. I have 9 movie posters scattered about, with room for a few more. And my mom said I wouldn't have room...riiiiiiight. Plus, Arnold is in here as well. I'm in heaven.

I went to a store called Game's Place today...why haven't I been here before? This place rocks! There's tons of games to rent, but they also have a lot of movies. And they're all on DVD. The selection is a lot wider than that at Blockbuster. We should start coming here. Plus, they sell cardboard stand-ups like Ah-nold...for $5! Unfortunately, they only have a couple, and I would only be interested in buying one or two. Besides, Ah-nold was worth $25.

Ever have a situation where you reeeeaallly want to do something and have been planning it for ages, yet another person's schedule keeps it from happening? I'm having one of those days. Sometimes I wish I was the kind of guy people would plan around. Blegh. Pardon me while I go knock things down, light a few fires, and toss my laptop off the balcony. Maybe then I'll feel better.

All right, quickly...Saturday night I watched Dogma with my aunt. On Sunday I woke up early, went to church, and I saw Collaterral, or however you spell that (it's late and I'm in a hurry). Tom Cruise is the man. He plays a villain and he plays one very well. Jamie Foxx shows he really CAN act. The directing is superb, and the way it all ties together at the end is fantastic. It's quite possibly my favorite movie of the summer other than Shrek 2.

I went to Krispy Kreme late at night, then came home and slept for about 3-4 hours. I woke up at 3:45, got dressed, helped pack, etc. We went to the airport. I had this life-size cardboard standup of Arnold Schwarzenegger I was lugging around...we weren't sure whether or not it could go on the plane. After lots of complicated things, the lady at the Continental desk let me check it as an extra piece of baggage and didn't charge me tons of money to do it. That was surprising, since it was early and she hadn't seemed very friendly before. But she went through a lot of trouble to do it. Lady, I don't know your name, but for that you deserve to be Da Woman of Da Week.

To make a long story short: We got bumped and ended up taking a flight to Newark. Then we took another flight to Houston. I slept through both of these...I was a zombie. Then we flew to San Salvador. I watched Man on Fire on the plane, which I thought was overrated. Then we got here...and Arnold had made it safely! Woohoo!

So now I'm here. We thought the Puerta would be at our house, but since we arrived later than expected and the leaders couldn't get through to us, they held it at another place. So I went over there. James stayed home and slept. Party pooper. It was great seeing everyone again. So I came home, and put up Ah-nold. He's looking at me right now with this look on his face that seems to say, "I can't believe you put me through all that, but I made it. I'm da man."

And now I should probably sleep. Nighty night.

All right. So yesterday, we decided we would go to the movies. I, Robot was showing at two o'clock. Unfortunately, we got caught in traffic and missed it. So we thought, hey, let's drive across town to The Grande theater to see Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. Then we got there and it turns out our information was wrong and it wasn't showing there after all. So then we drove to another theater...and saw it. Finally. It was good. It's probably the best of the series so far, but I don't really remember the other two. Whoever that Mexican director is (don't remember his name at the moment), he needs to do the rest. The atmosphere was great.

And...I did a lot more. But that will have to wait until I'm back in El Salvador I guess.

Yesterday I slept until 1. I woke up. I was on the computer for a few hours. Parents came. Went shopping. Didn't buy anything. Came home. Watched Saturday Night Live: The Best of Will Ferrell. Laughed very hard.

Today I slept until 11. I ate a sausage biscuit. I went shopping some more. Bought the original black-and-white version of The Manchurian Candidate. Oh yeah. Bought the 2 Kill Bill movies. Freakin' awesome!!! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRGGGGHHH!!

At my aunt's now. The Olympics started. El Salvador has 8 athletes. A girl in my class is there. She's not participating, just a guest. That sucks. I hope they kick gringo butt.

I was awakened at 8:30 to go to breakfast. I could barely move. I stepped into the shower and my thoughts went something like this..."Can't. Move. Too. Tired. Water. Hot. Water. Hotter. Water hot! Water scalding! AAGGGHH! I'm awake I'm awake!" So we went to breakfast and I ate a huge gravy biscuit and some liver pudding. Woohoo, a good ol' southern breakfast!

Afterwards we went shopping. Actually we only went to two stores. Both of them were...underwear stores. My relatives (I'm not allowed to say who since it might embarass them - see, I can be nice!) spent a long time in there. It was so much fun...there were a billion possible jokes to make. I saw the biggest bra known to mankind. 3 people could fit inside it. There were thongs, which meant I got to say, "I want one! I want one!" They had these adhesive bra things which make it look like the girl isn't wearing a bra. There was a brand called "Magicups" and "Barely There". Plus they had those nipple coverings like Janet Jackson word to the Super Bowl! And Wonderbras (which made me comment, "Kinky"). Yes, it wasn't too bad since there was so much to make fun of. However, it's worth mentioning that one of the stores was definitely sexist. Only one tiny corner was for men's stuff. The rest was all for women. The mannequins were scary. They had no heads, arms or legs. And they had nipples. It's a waste of material just to make them anatomically correct. They should save money by not being so detailed.

After that we went to this one store where a friend of "one of my relatives" (I'm not allowed to say, remember?) was looking for something specific. They evidently didn't notice what other things the store sold. There were perverted posters and bumper stickers and pins. And sex toys. And an "Adults Only" section in the back. Great Christian place, eh? My "relative" freaked out when she realized it...

After that we went to Big Lots and bought stuff to sneak into the movie theater. We had been planning to go see Collateral, but the theater is only open from 7-9:45 on weekdays! What kind of theater does that? We went to see The Bourne Supremacy instead. It was pretty good, but the first one was better. The worst part of the whole movie was the style of directing. It's like they used a handheld camera. Everything is really shaky. After a while I got used to it but sometimes it was really frustrating. During the action scenes there were too many cuts. I couldn't keep track of what was going on. Overall though, a very good movie. Worth the price of admission.

So we went back to the house, packed up, and drove back to High Point. My grandparents went to bed before 9 o'clock. I went over to my aunt's house because now I can use the computer. Like I'm doing now. Hehe. In exchange I helped fix a problem they were having.

Ok. Update finished.

Okeydokey. We didn't go to the mountains when we had planned. Instead, we stayed in High Point. I watched Joy Ride on tv, which was an okay movie I guess. Some parts were awesome, and others were just dumb. There's just something not right about people being chased by a truck. Afterwards, James and I watched Iron Monkey, this Chinese kung-fu movie. It's basically Robin Hood...in China...with kung-fu. Awesome stuff. People fight on rooftops, on poles, with poles, with umbrellas, etc. I think my favorite part was when a lady got kicked at a guy, then kicked by another through a wall. Hilarious stuff. Or maybe I'm a sadistic psychopath.

Anyways, we left this morning and now we're finally in Boone. I've been here at the computer watching movie trailers and stuff. Batman Begins looks like it might actually be a decent Batman movie. And it has Christopher Nolan (Memento) directing it, so I have my hopes up. A Sound of Thunder is based on an awesome short story by Ray Bradbury, but the trailer makes me think the movie's gonna suck. The CG is awful. Learn from Jurassic Park, people! Use robots if you can. The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy teaser was funny, though it didn't show anything from the movie. Hopefully it will at least be as funny as the book, though I doubt that can be accomplished. By far the best trailer I saw was for this movie called Team America: World Police. I can't remember the last time I laughed so hard during a preview. It's just so...different. Yet hilarious. You'll have to watch it to watch it here to see what I mean.

Now James is bugging me to get off. Oohh, look at all the pretty bold letters!

Woof.

Since I haven't done it in a while, I'll make up for it with new categories! Yay.

Da Woman of Da Week: Brandy. I saw her on TV last night and she made me laugh. Can you say, "Eating disorder?"

Da White Guy of Da Week: Michael Jackson. Who else?

Da Man of Da Week: Tom Cruise, for finally playing a villain. I haven't seen Collateral yet, but that fact alone is worth the ticket price in my book.

Da Blonde of Da Week: Whoever the first blonde to inspire a blonde joke was.

Da Phrase of Da Week: Po shizzle my nizzle izzle fizzle, man. Zizzle yizzle tizzle? Bizzle.

Da Word of Da Week: Geranium.

Da Random Sentence of Da Week: The purple goldfish erupted from the dormant volcano, spinning gracefully into the golden sky, while Bob sat in his pink polka-dotted SUV eating Butterfingers and singing "So Happy Together", and the milkman played his harmonica and realized that the meaning of life had something to do with seahorses and clock-radios.

I don't remember the last thing I posted, and I'm too lazy to look.

I didn't do much at my grandmother's house. Just slept, talked some with her, visited with relatives, etc. Now I'm back in High Point, NC. Tomorrow we go to church, and in the evening we're driving up to the mountains again. Woohoo!

I don't have much to write. I'm kinda bored. My head is fuzzy...wha? Huh?

I just noticed that every single paragraph so far begins with "I". Whoop-de-doo.

Oh. My cousin said she saw Donnie Darko over the summer and didn't like it. Blasphemy! I'm tempted to tell people we're not related. Also, I forgot to mention that while we were in New Jersey, I saw the old 80's comedy classic Airplane! for the first time. Now I can see why it's considered one of the funniest movies of all time. A few of my favorite lines:

"Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit smoking."

"Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit drinking."

"Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit amphetamines."

"Looks like I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue."

"What kind of plane is it?"
"Oh, it's a big pretty white plane with a red stripes, curtains at the windows, wheels, and it just looks like a big Tylenol."

"Surely there must be something you can do."
"I'm doing everything I can... and stop calling me Shirley."

In other news: my latest Amazon order should be in by now. I bought lots of posters (my room is going to be covered with movie posters), a book, etc. Maybe in a day or so I'll post links to the items if I'm bored enough.

For now I'm not.

I should have updated this a few days ago...now I'll probably forget some stuff...

On Saturday, we went to Busch Gardens theme park with the Diakun kids for about 10 hours. I used to go there all the time. It was lots of fun. I made it my goal to scream on every single ride...before the ride started. This resulted in lots of stares. Fun fun fun!

Example: The Loch Ness Monster - roller coaster

1) Stand in line for the front seat.
2) Get on the ride.
3) The ride starts.
4) We start moving up the first hill.
5) I scream, "AAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHHH!! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!!! LET ME OFF! LET ME OFF!"

Another rather interesting experience occured on the water ride, Escape From Pompeii. The basic summary of the ride: We sit in little boats and go into some "ancient ruins" meant to look like Pompeii. As soon as we were inside, I yelled as loudly as I could into the ears of two girls sitting in front of us. They jumped, and then looked back at me like I was nuts. Then lots of things caught on fire, statues fell over, yadda yadda yadda (it's supposed to simulate the city falling apart after Mt. Vesuvius erupts)...and I started singing. Yes. Singing.

Da roof, da roof, da roof is on fire!
Da roof, da roof, da roof is on fire!

That was all I knew of the song. However, the two girls in front of us heard me singing and started dancing and singing the rest. It was pretty funny! Then, we came to the end...a plunge down a huge slide where everyone gets soaked. As we came to the edge, all you could hear was me...

"No! No! Not the drop! It's coming closer! Help! We're going down! Mayday! We're all gonna die! We're going down! We're going down! We're going dooooooooooowwwwwnnnnn..."

Cue the big splash.

Yes, I was hyper. But I had lots of fun screaming, waving at the people who ran the rides, and giving big smiles to everyone who stared at the crazy gringo. Let the transformation to extrovertism...er...extrovertedness...er...whatever...BEGIN!

On Sunday, we went back to the church we used to go to in Virginia. I saw lots of familiar faces, hugged lots of people I didn't remember, etc. That afternoon we visited the Cleckleys, whom I did remember. I had a good time swimming and hanging out with their son David and his cousin (or something like that, I don't remember exactly who he was). Then we visited some other people and I spent a couple of hours playing with the cat, which was rather boring.

On Monday we drove for 10 hours to New Jersey. We hadn't planned on visiting Columbia or Princeton since it's expensive to stay in a hotel, but somehow we found a family to let us stay in their house. I suppose it was God's will. The family was nice, but RICH...James and I had to sleep in a room filled with ANTIQUE DOLLS. Everything was so lacy and Victorian and...kinda creepy being surrounded by all these dolls with glassy eyes.

On Tuesday we went to Princeton. It was a pretty cool place, especially considering they'll provide 100% financial aid WITHOUT loans. No other university will do that. It was very historic, with lots of paintings and statues of old guys with wigs, stuff like that. Definitely a possibility for college, especially considering the no loans part.

On Wednesday we visited New York City! Woohoo! New York is awesome. Columbia University is awesome. I'm definitely applying there. It's definitely a liberal place though. There were advertisements on the bulletin boards encouraging people to go disrupt the Republican convention. Many of the individual suites are co-ed...meaning the bathrooms are as well. Freaky. I could be taking a shower and have a girl in the shower next to me...which would be awkward (depending on the girl of course). Our tour guide was definitely gay. He had his eyebrows waxed and was wearing womens' sandals.

We walked through Central Park, which was nice. Fifth Avenue was cool. We took a tour of NBC studios, which was neat. Unfortunately, all the interesting shows like Conan O'Brian and Saturday Night Live were filming, so we didn't get to see those studios. Just the ones for Dateline and some new Oprah-like show with a lady whose name I can't remember. Time Square was awesome...lots and lots of big signs with lights. Broadway shows. Lots of people.

And we spent today coming back to Virginia. Tomorrow we go visit my grandmother and stay with her until Saturday or Sunday.

I Heart New York (yes I got one of those t-shirts).